Comments on Jacqui's Room: Jacqui's Worst First Line Ever Contest

Ruth, that is outstanding.

2009-07-17T11:19:54.892-04:00

Ruth, that is outstanding.

"Kristy knew if she pushed her sister Jill ahead a...

2009-07-15T23:43:10.990-04:00

"Kristy knew if she pushed her sister Jill ahead and told her to turn on the light switch which was located on the opposite side of the dark bedroom, that monsters would get her sister first, you see, Kristy could run faster because she ran a sprint race in 3rd grade and won and got a medal and the monsters would know that and eat her sister and then Kristy could have the bedroom for herself because she hated sharing and her mom liked Jill best anyway so now mom would like Kristy best and then everything would turn out great and Kristy would be an only child and inherit everything and be rich and famous when she got older and sell lots of books about how to get to be rich and famous."

Didn't you say you would accept multiple entries? ...

2009-07-15T22:20:28.431-04:00

Didn't you say you would accept multiple entries? LOL I'm just getting used to blogging and leaving comments; sorry about all the multi-entries. The other ones hadn't shown up on my screen till now. Gosh and blush. Sandy

Waking up and reaching under his pillow to see wha...

2009-07-15T22:18:09.060-04:00

Waking up and reaching under his pillow to see what the Tooth Fairy had left him, Johnny discovered not only his tooth still there, but that the TF had taken all the ones from inside his mouth.

(from Sandy Carlson, Battle Creek)

Scratch the Cat, who was declawed, secretly used h...

2009-07-15T18:11:33.266-04:00

Scratch the Cat, who was declawed, secretly used her mistress’ WiFi on cold winter nights to send messages across the street to Butch the Bulldog, in order to listen to him howl where he would be sent outside until he cooled off.

If you ever fought with your sister, lied about so...

2009-07-15T11:06:23.207-04:00

If you ever fought with your sister, lied about something, picked your nose or wet your pants, you will eventually discover the ugly truth: Parents divorce mostly because of their kids.

..... The house seemed so very far, it was incredi...

2009-07-15T10:57:10.164-04:00

..... The house seemed so very far, it was incredible to think I'd beat the twister, an onrushing wall of complete destruction but.....I ran, the wind knocking me over several times and huge trees that had been ripped out by the roots hurtled past, the branches brushing my clothes as the train howled on, because that's what it had to be, a train from hell, smashing everything in it's path and the roof lifted clean off, whooshing away as I scrambled to the cellar door then once inside I got the bar across and we all gathered in the room furthest from the outside door with a cheery lantern and everything was going to be ok, the stew was hot and there wouldn't be school today.

Thanks Jacqui! Sorry for the mistake. Keely

2009-07-14T10:29:50.327-04:00

Thanks Jacqui! Sorry for the mistake.
Keely

Here's one: Frankie's mommy lost her baby weight t...

2009-07-14T10:02:10.747-04:00

Here's one: Frankie's mommy lost her baby weight the day after he was born, just like all good mommies do.

No, of course, this ISN'T a pet peeve of mine. ;-)

Hi Keely, I'm not sure I have the bloggy expertise...

2009-07-14T09:33:29.198-04:00

Hi Keely, I'm not sure I have the bloggy expertise to change other people's comments short of deleting, but I will definitely insert the "with" when reading it to Thor and Monkey Girl.

Hi Jacqui, Thank you for posting my entry. I just...

2009-07-13T12:17:11.409-04:00

Hi Jacqui,
Thank you for posting my entry. I just noticed that I had accidently omitted the word "with" before Goldilox at the end of my sentence. Would it be possible to edit it back in, as it's absence changes the meaning of the sentence? Thank you!
Kindly,
Keely Hutton

With breakfast ruined and her family ravenous from...

2009-07-12T20:13:27.390-04:00

With breakfast ruined and her family ravenous from their long walk in the woods, Mama Bear frantically pawed through the cupboards in search of some bagels that would taste ‘just right’ when served Goldilox. (C)

Okay, here goes my first try: Rhonda, Lindsey, an...

2009-07-12T05:16:54.246-04:00

Okay, here goes my first try:

Rhonda, Lindsey, and Eve, stood at the water cooler at work and gossiped; it was a known fact that their co-worker, Hannah, had always been a home wrecker, and her new boyfriend raised all sorts of juicy questions, but what these three women will come to find out in chapter seven, is that Hannah is really just misunderstood.

Here's one that has nothing to do with bodily func...

2009-07-10T10:32:12.428-04:00

Here's one that has nothing to do with bodily functions:

Bethany had thought her life was over when her parents forced her to move from Hawaii to some podunk town in Ohio, until she spied the incredibly hot guy sitting by himself next to the cafeteria window, his skin almost luminescent in the hot September sun, making her wonder, "He couldn't be, could he? So beautiful and sparkly? Could he be the one to bring magic, eternal love, and meaning to my otherwise empty existence?" but then, as she not-quite-nonchalantly slunk over in his direction and his musk pierced the cafeteria scents of burnt Tater Tots and bad chili, she decided he was shiny because he needed a bath and maybe she'd be better off trying out for cross country after all, instead of expecting some moronic teenage boy to change her life.

I hope you don't mind if I double dip; Cheryl Klei...

2009-07-09T10:04:22.691-04:00

I hope you don't mind if I double dip; Cheryl Klein over at Brooklyn Arden is holding the same contest, and since nothing in your rules says I have to be exclusive, and since she's articulated what her prize, I'm using mine again so I don't have to straing my brain.

That's a horrible sentence in itself, isn't it?

Tapey the Tapeworm lived in Susi's large intestine...

2009-07-08T13:15:07.173-04:00

Tapey the Tapeworm lived in Susi's large intestine.

A non-poop entry: “Can’t you sleep, Little Bear?”...

2009-07-07T23:00:40.301-04:00

A non-poop entry:

“Can’t you sleep, Little Bear?” asked Big Bear, while behind his sympathetic smile he was wondering if he could survive another night with Little Bear sticking his bony little elbows and knees into him, and whining and coughing and crying, and wondering also if it would be very wrong to slip a little something into Little Bear’s warm milk to help him sleep, or maybe he should add that wee dram to his own suppertime drink, or hell, down half the bottle – and if he did, what would the other parents at Bears Without Partners think?

I wasn't sure if you were going for badly written ...

2009-07-07T20:53:12.725-04:00

I wasn't sure if you were going for badly written or bad idea, so my entry hopefully covers both:

Jenny surveyed her handiwork- the floor carefully littered with marbles, jacks, Legos, deflated balloons with extra-long strings, pennies, batteries and thumbtacks- but realized that her motives might be a little too transparent, even for her, when her parents brought that annoying new baby home from the hospital, so she put the thumbtacks back in her bulletin board, took one more appreciative look, and breathed a sigh of satisfaction.

These are excellent. I am noticing a poop theme.....

2009-07-07T10:29:59.718-04:00

These are excellent. I am noticing a poop theme...

cath c and Carol H.,
I feel like line 3 needs Bartholomew drinking Tab.

testing new drugs for rehab. third line anyone?

2009-07-07T10:09:53.838-04:00

testing new drugs for rehab. third line anyone?

Bartholomew Bunny lives in a lab.

2009-07-07T09:51:36.026-04:00

Bartholomew Bunny lives in a lab.

Maybe the smell should have warned him, or the way...

2009-07-06T01:25:07.901-04:00

Maybe the smell should have warned him, or the way Tricky Tim sniggered as he held out the bowl, but Greedy Gordon never said no to chocolate ice cream and by the time he realised what he really had in his mouth it was too late.

Here's another: Jayden thought "subterfuge" meant...

2009-07-05T19:51:34.479-04:00

Here's another:

Jayden thought "subterfuge" meant eating fudge under the table.

Wee Willie sat on his potty and thought long and h...

2009-07-05T19:50:30.743-04:00

Wee Willie sat on his potty and thought long and hard about what he was going to doo doo.

Yes! This is a contest after my own heart! Love ...

2009-07-05T12:45:17.900-04:00

Yes! This is a contest after my own heart! Love Colorado Writer's contribution. I'm not sure I can improve on that, but I'll be giving this one some thought.

I'll be back.