Friday, November 6, 2009

Dear Tinkerbell,

I don't care how many times you have read Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone. You must stop referring to your brother as "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

In addition:

1. It is not okay to hide jars of "potion" in the corners of the basement, particularly if said potion contains large quantities of vermin-attracting fruit juice.

2. I know what the "Petrificus Totalus" spell does and I do not appreciate having you shout it at me during lectures on your behavioral faults.

3. You cannot invent magic words. Specifically, if your father asks, "What's the magic word?" when you rudely demand something, you may not answer, "Monkey bars." Further, you may not then use "monkey bars" in the place of "please" in making requests, as in "Get my homework folder, monkey bars."

Lastly, for the 100th time, no, the book I am writing is not as good as Harry Potter. Yes, I wish it were too. Thanks for the tip about the juicy details. I'll work on it.

Your Mother


Ann Finkelstein said...

My kids used to use Fourth of July sparklers as magic wands.

cath c said...

this is hysterical and very familiar.....

Write2ignite said...

I've never read HP...but this post is absolutely HILARIOUS! I don't even have to know what the spell is to know it's probably not a smart thing to be saying to your mom whilst getting in trouble.

You crack me up. do. :)


Vijaya said...

Tink would fit well with my kiddos.
Monkey bars, indeed! Hee hee.

J. Thorp said...

You could fight magic with magic, J -- try this:

Of course, it could land you in wizarding prison -- but it might totally be worth it.


Michele Thornton said...

Doesn't she have Professor Snape next year?

I see my word verification is Flogrim. Definitely a cooperation and manners spell that will be on her OWLS.

deborah freedman said...

Just make Tink a character in your book, and you have a bestseller.

Unknown said...

I love this! And yes, I just found your blog so I've been skimming it. How old was Tink when she started reading Harry Potter? Dev just finished the series and it was uncomfortable how quickly the books went from, "this is great" to "what's all this snogging business?"

We should have a reunion of the two readers, maybe? monkey monkey monkey bars??

Jacqui said...

Yanna, welcome!
I have Tink on a strict Harry Potter time release schedule. She got the first one at seven, and the second at seven and a half. I told her she has to read like that until she's nine, when she can just go ahead and finish them. She's pretty easily scared, so I knew she wasn't ready yet for the later ones. At first she hated me for it, but now she trusts the idea because she's seen how scary the first ones are.