I have one of sprites and goblins

O, for a Muse of fire, that would ascend
The brightest heaven of invention!

Had Jacqui such a Muse, she would have more
Than bits and plagiarisms to explore
On this -- o happy day -- the twenty-third:
The birthday of the greatest smith of word
E'er to pen a line or poem write. Sigh.

Because the truth is: long ago, in addition to all the other kinds of dork you know I have been and continue to be, I was, and am, a Shakespeare fanatic. The first play I ever directed was The Winter's Tale, so it's my favorite, but they all make my heart go pitter patter.*

I can't go to Chicago to "Talk Like Shakespeare Day." And as great as the Shakespearean Insult Generator is, it wasn't enough.

Next, I tried to write you something hilarious. But I didn't get far in Captain Destructo's Ode to Hamlet:

To nap, or not to nap, that is the question:
Whether ‘tis better in the crib to suffer
An hour trapped within the bars of torture
Or to take arms against the crowd of stuffed friends
And to jettison them.

Meh. And then a vision filled my head. It was my agent (who is a black belt and also a wise woman). She was glaring at me and saying something, what was it? Oh, yeah, it was "What the heck are you doing you have a book to write have you lost your mind don't make me come over there!"

Look over there! (scurries back into office to write)

* Except King John. What is up with King John?