Thursday, May 27, 2010

One Million Gribbits

It's been a while since I had a good Thursday News of the Absurd Will Someone Please Write This Book Inspirational Moment, (ThNoftheAWSPWTBIM). I couldn't pass this one up.

From the New York Times via AP:

Flood of Frogs Shuts Down Major Greek Highway

Apparently, Greek officials had to shut down a major highway in the north of Greece this week because more than a million frogs were hopping in the street.

First, the best thing about this article is that the author clearly had a field day with the words "large group" and Thesaurus.com.

Officials said the frogs had probably left a nearby lake in search of food. Yeah, right. All more than a million of them. At once. And they decided tarmac was their best bet.

Obviously, there are two more plausible explanations:

1. Comic dark magic. Because if it were real dark magic, the frogs would be dead or headless or something. I might love a book written from the frogs' point of view. I mean, nobody ever considers how frogs (or locusts, for that matter) feel about being dragged from place to place just because they're annoying and great punishment.
2. The gods are angry at the highway. Or, they are angry at young Niko, the new Chief Road Engineer, who has declared that his new highway tarmac material is "stronger than the gods" and can withstand any kind of weather. The trouble is: he's right. No matter what the gods throw at it -- rain, blizzard, lightning, locusts -- the highway stay open.

What do you think?

13 comments:

Mike Jung said...

The frogs are a long-established colony of an interdimensional civilization, and the mystical wormhole they've been using to communicate across dimensions has mysteriously shut down. Immediately afterward the colony leaders declared that they must cross the road and head to the next closest interdimensional wormhole, which is unfortunately located below the surface of a nearby road. Obviously.

J. Thorp said...

these are GREAT ideas -- and you are now my personal supreme arbiter of workday distraction...

Jacqui said...

Thorp, I am guessing you mean Mike is your personal supreme arbiter of workday distraction; he will definitely do that to you.

Mike Jung, hilarity.

But it has just occurred to me that the only true response to the obvious question raised by this post is simply "To get to the other side."

J. Thorp said...

actually, i meant you, j-robb -- although you two work well together in that regard...

Jacqui said...

Thorp, aw. But I don't want you distracted; I want you writing.

cath c said...

yes, great ideas!

and now for a biological explanation, sort of. where i used to live by a glacial erratic marsh in the hills of MA, every spring, for a few nights, the peepers and ribbiters absolutely covered my condo parking lot. it was fascinating. it was disgusting because, much like 'we're going on a bear hunt': we can't drive around them, we can't drive under them, guess we have to drive through them! squish squash splat, squish squash, splat.

i was told it some sort of migrating mating ritual.

i like your thoughts much better than the actuality.

sorry to be the gross out queen.

J. Thorp said...

Cath C: Where I grew up in Michigan there used to be the swampy area between my folks place and my girlfriend's house. In late spring/early summer the road would be a wriggled, hopping mass. Same deal. I was always worried about deer in the evenings, because if one jumped out when you were on that stretch, no way were you gonna stop...

Sorry to be the gross-king. Sort of. :- P

cath c said...

oh good, then it's not just me. :)

Mary Witzl said...

My husband, an incurable punner who is sitting here, waiting for his turn on the internet, has this answer: "They're just hopping for a better life." Jeez.

We're nuts about frogs here; why is it that we never get to see anything like that when we're only a stone's throw from Greece?

One night when we were driving in Miyazaki, Japan, we found ourselves on a road that was practically green with tiny frogs. We were miserable, having to drive through them. I got out and did my best, but shifting dozens of frogs is a fool's errand. Millions, though: you'd need a low pressure fire hose or something...

WordWrangler said...

JACQUI!! It's been too long since I've been to your fab blog. I hope things are going well for you.

I think YOU should write story. but not from the frog's point of view, but from the highway's point of view. I mean, really... how did the road feel about being attacked by bazillion warty frog feet?

Was it hopping mad?
Was it TOAD-ally sad?

Write it, girl. Write it for all the world to see!

:) :) :)

hugs,
Donna

Jacqui said...

Cath and Thorp and Mary, there you have it. Yuck. But I guess not as weird as I thought.

WordWrangler, welcome back! Argh. I want to write back a frog pun, but I can't think of one!

J. Thorp said...

Mary's Miyazaki story sounds like a scene from a Miyazaki film ...

Jacqui said...

Thorp, indeed. But all the frogs would have united into a giant, super cool froggy flying carpet and taken the kids somewhere.