Monday, October 11, 2010

ATTENTION PEOPLE OF JACQUI'S ROOM

We have your "Jacqui." We have been tracking her for several weeks but she refuses to write our chapters. Sure, she wrote character sketches for us and has written thousands, THOUSANDS of words for this book, but WE do not yet appear. Nobody even knows who WE are. Jacqui knows, but she ain't talking. Or writing. How can we perpetrate our evil, dastardly, very lucrative, somewhat ridiculous plans if we don't yet EXIST???

So we took her. She made a valiant effort at escape this weekend -- even hopped a train to Chicago and ran 26.2 miles. This was clearly to avoid us (why else would anyone run that far?!), but it was misguided since she ran it in a big circle. We let her stop to take this photo for proof. But then we got her.

Now you may not have her back until we have finished with her. Oh, we'll give her the essentials, like food and water and access to Facebook. But other than that, she writes only for us until OUR book is written to OUR satisfaction so the world can know of our greatness.

Yes, World! YOU SHALL KNOW OUR NAMES. You know, once we have names.

Sincerely,

The Bad Guys in Jacqui's New Book

12 comments:

cath c said...

good writing, jacqui!

these bad guys are funny.

annebingham said...

Send your bad guys up to Milwaukee, but only if they won't make me run a marathon. I did a 5K a month ago and it nearly killed me. Only a few select writers can write dead (you hear me, Michael Crichton?)

deborahfreedman said...

The bad news for us sounds like good news for you. Write on, Jacqui!

Julie Hedlund said...

Hilarious - can't wait to meet those guys!

Anne M Leone said...

Hah! Well, at least you get access to Facebook...

Congrats on the marathon!

Sharon Blankenship said...

Man, I don't even want to DRIVE 26.2 miles. So nothing will surprise me now. Do we have to run and/or pay to meet the "new bad guys?"

Amber Lough said...

You guys need to release Jacqui. How can she write whilst abducted?! Are you feeding her? And giving her lots and lots of water? And a comfy bed? Great. Now let her go. Or else.

Amber Lough said...

Um...hello? Is Jacqui there? This is her friend...and I want her back.

C.R. Evers said...

ahhhh!!!! You underestimate Jacqui's powers. She will beat you in the end and she will continue to entertain us until that time.

You think you have Jacqui . . . but Jacqui has you.

Take that! You evil minions!

signed, J.K Rowlings.

Mary Witzl said...

26.2 miles? I might be able to walk that far, but it would take me some time to recover.

I could use your bad guys, though. Send them over to Scotland when they've had their way with you.

Write2ignite said...

GUess what I saw at the libray today? Prominently displayed on a shelf with other favorite books?

THE NEW GIRL... AND ME!

SO precious!!!

Jacqui said...

Write2ignite, Hurrah!!!