Thursday, January 21, 2010

Tick tock, the clock don't stop

This week's Thursday News of the Absurd Will Someone Please Write This Book Inspirational Moment (TNoftheAWSWTBIM) happened this morning.

4:57am Destructo awakens, gets fully dressed, and heads downstairs. When confronted with "What are you doing?!" he falls to the floor screaming, "I HUNGY!" I bring Destructo milk and send Thor in to get him back to sleep.

5:00am Tink crawls into bed with me, falls back asleep, and steals all the covers.

6:00am Thor's alarm clock beeps. I reach over Tink and hit it blindly. It stops.

6:10am Alarm clock beeps again. I hit it harder. It stops.

6:15am Alarm clock beeps again. I get up and pound the darn thing. I press every button. It stops.

6:20am Alarm clock beeps again. I growl, beat on it again, rip the cord out of the socket, and toss the clock to the floor. It stops.

6:30am Alarm clock makes high-pitched shrieking sound. I shake it, yelling "WHAT THE HECK?!" I flip every switch, hit every button, and smack the display (which is dark, because the thing is UNPLUGGED). It stops.

6:35am Tink is giggling uncontrollably. "Mama's in a war with Dada's clock." We get up.

Time passes. We get dressed, make breakfast, etc.

7:15am The obviously haunted alarm clock STARTS BEEPING AGAIN. I yell, "GAH!" Tink cracks up. Destructo, thinking it's the fire alarm, tries to evacuate.

7:16am Thor comes downstairs and says, "What did you do to my clock?"

"It hates us," Tink says.

"It's going to chase us to school," I say, picturing the clock tipping back and forth on it's little "feet," beeping angrily.

"This is totally a book," she says.

And she's right. The angry alarm clock's revenge.

Or, maybe it's sad that I hit it, so it chases me all day beeping until I apologize.

Or...well, what do you think? And who will write me this book?


monica said...

Nice and interesting blog. Thanks for sharing it.


cath c said...


if you want to have fun with it go ahead, but the thought just makes me sad. then again we had our own night prowlers last night, so this may be influencing my dire mood toward the walking clock.

Angela said...

Do you remember when they came out with the plush baseball alarm clock that you could throw across the room to shut off? I always did think that was rather brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Wow. You have an alarm clock with a 5-minute snooze? I thought all alarm clocks were 9-minutes snoozes? You're being gypped out of an extra 4 minutes per smack-down.

And WHY 9 minutes? Why can't they make it an even 10? Or heck, I'll get all Spinal Tap on ya and say they should all go to 11.

Amber Lough said...

I am chuckling because this is my life, but written better than I could have done it.