But When Do You Find The Time?!

In which I reveal myself to be a seriously sub-par wife, mother, and triathlete.

"You have a blog?! But when do you find the time?"

This is a question I get a lot lately. Usually, it's in response to the Remedial Lit Summer Project, or to having a blog at all.

"I could never do it," they say. "I just don't have the time."

I like to answer, "Well, I am smarter and more efficient than you." But that is a lie. In truth, I find the time by neglecting things that other, more responsible people do.

Rather than confess outright, I thought I'd give you a little game to play. I present:

Just How Lame Is Jacqui? A Matching Game

Can you match the items on the "to do" list (1-10) below with the "when was the last time Jacqui did it" list (a-j)? All of the "to do" items are ones someone I know did this week; all of the time frames are, sadly, 100% accurate.

1. ironed
2. cleaned the shower
3. exercised (not counting wrestling toddler into car seat)
4. bought/made presents for kids' teachers for end of school year
5. wrote a single word on non-fiction project that's now two years old
6. trimmed either child's finger or toenails
7. read a newspaper (not counting Yahoo headlines)
8. bought/made gift or even called my father for Father's Day*
9. weeded my garden
10. paid bills/balanced the checkbook

a. never
b. summer of '06, and only then because I was quilting
c. frankly, I honestly can't remember
d. two weeks ago, before I hurt my back
e. cannot locate garden under thickets of weeds
f. fall of '06
g. Sunday, May 18, 2008
h. I don't know but yesterday Tinkerbell's friend suggested that if they got any longer, they'd curl under
i. It is possible these brown-outs are not due to thunderstorms
j. oh crap! Is that today? I have to go.

* I did procure my husband a present -- a signed copy of my friend Salman's latest book. "Where did you get it signed?" husband asked. During the interview, of course.**

** Or at the bookstore.