The Least You Need To Know: The Acquisitions Meeting

Today's lesson focuses on one of the most diabolical and mysterious events in publishing: the Acquisitions Meeting. The simple definition is that Acquisition Meetings are where publishing houses make decisions about which books to acquire. Read on for details...

The Least You Need To Know: The Acquisitions Meeting

1. Acquisitions meetings may be regularly scheduled or haphazard, depending on the publishing house. Sometimes they don't happen at all, like if someone gets sick or there's a snow day. All of this is designed to keep you on your toes.

2. According to my first editor, attendance at an Acquisitions Meeting is limited to editors, assistants, and "the money people."* "Money people" includes publishers, business-side folks, and marketing departments. Authors are not invited, nor can you influence the outcome of an Acquisitions Meeting with baked goods.

3. At an Acquisitions Meeting, editors present manuscripts about which they are excited. Often, they have already had an Editorial Meeting at which they shared those manuscripts with other editors, to get everyone excited and to mark their territory by saying, "Hey! I have a new zombie princess pop-up book. No zombie princess pop-up books for the rest of you." Sometimes editors pee on manuscripts to mark their territory as well, though this is less effective.

4. At the beginning of an Acquisitions Meeting, everyone present reaffirms his or her commitment to worship of the printed page. The president/grand poobah puts on a fez and announces, "Let the wild rumpus begin!" which means that the floor is now open to editors who wish to present manuscripts.

5. In the middle of an Acquisitions Meeting, editors try to convince everyone the stories they are presenting will re-define literature change the lives of the people who read it sell really well. Some editors do interpretive dances of their manuscripts. Often, there is a bloody battle to the death between the editors and the money people, or between dueling editors. The shorter the discussion about your book, the better; your chances of being acquired go down if a lot of people are opposed to acquiring you.

6. At the end of the meeting, some manuscripts are acquired and are well on their way to being published books. The others are well on their way to the recycling bin.

7. For more accurate information about Acquisitions Meetings, from someone who has actually been to one, try here.

* He really said that.