Baaaad boys

I was pondering a very cool, deep Thursday News of the Absurd Will Someone Please Write This Book Inspirational Moment (TNoftheAWSPWTBIM)*. And then I went to the petting farm with Destructo this morning. We took a hay ride into the middle of the cow pasture, where the farmer stopped the truck and scattered feed. Immediately, we were surrounded by cattle, some of them horned, mooing and jockeying for position. They were gigantic but gentle. Destructo was fascinated. He cooed over the mamas with their babies. He reached over the side of the hay ride to pet them. He mooed back. It was totally adorable.

Then the hay ride went on and dropped us at the petting barn. Destructo climbed up me, clawing at me like a baby monkey.

"NO!" he shouted. "No go in here!"

"Why not?" I asked. There didn't appear to be any monsters or even loose animals. But Destructo tried to crawl into my skin.

"I no like THAT!" he screamed, pointing.

I looked. And oh. my. God. I saw this:

Yeah, it's a baby goat.** About the size of a large house cat. By far the cutest thing (other than my kids) that I've seen all week. The little black one was the evil demon that had Destructo up in (my) arms.

It baaed and Destructo screamed. 700 pound horned cows=cute, but tiny long-lashed baby goat=Cujo, apparently.

And then I thought, "Maybe Destructo knows something I don't." Maybe he speaks goat. And maybe the goat is saying, "I am going to kill you." Or maybe he can inherently sense what that goat would do to his lovey.

There's a book here. I want horror, where the cutest animals in the barn are evil and nobody but the main character can tell. The baby goats are killers and Fern wouldn't want to be anywhere near the runt of the pig litter. It has to be a graphic novel, I think, so we can get pictures. And I want the main character to get caught wrestling the animals and for his mom to think he's crazy.

But no attack bunnies; that's been done.

Who will write me this book? And who can think of a better title than "Baaaad Boys" for it?





* I actually was; it will come next week, I think.
** Sorry so blurry; it's hard to take pictures with a terrified monkey on your head.