"Oh! You're a writer?" everyone says, smiling fondly as Tinkerbell and Destructo spin wildly around the room. "You must get so much great material from your kids!"
So I thought I'd bring you some of the great material I get from my kids. Like this conversation they had tonight:
Feed Me: A one act play
DESTRUCTO: Tinkerbell! Feed me.*
TINK: Not tonight.
DESTRUCTO: Feed me!
TINK: Not tonight!
DESTRUCTO: FEED ME!
TINK: No.
DESTRUCTO: Yes.
TINK: No.
DESTRUCTO: Yes.
TINK: No!
DESTRUCTO: Yes!
TINK: NO!
DESTRUCTO: YES!
TINK: No no NO!
DESTRUCTO: Yes yes YES!
JACQUI: (bangs face on table)
Or how about this gem from the other day?
Grandpatasaurus
DESTRUCTO: He-yoh Tinkerbell!
TINK: Hello, Apatosaurus.
DESTRUCTO: I not Grandpa!
TINK: I didn't call you Grandpa.
DESTRUCTO: You say "Hello Grandpa saurus."
TINK: No, I didn't.
DESTRUCTO: Yes, you did.
TINK: No, I didn't.
DESTRUCTO: Yeah. You did.
TINK: No, I said, "Hello Apatosaurus."
DESTRUCTO: Oh. What dat?
TINK: It's a dinosaur with a long neck.
DESTRUCTO:
TINK: For real.
DESTRUCTO: Why you call me dat?
TINK: I dunno.
DESTRUCTO: Okay. I play dat game now?
TINK: No. Go away.
DESTRUCTO: Yes, you let me play.
TINK: No.
DESTRUCTO: Yes.
TINK: No!
DESTRUCTO: YES!
TINK: NO!
DESTRUCTO: YES!
JACQUI: (beats self in head with garlic press)
I think I will stick to making stuff up.
* She was a saint one night and talked him down from a have-to-stay-in-your-strappy-seat tantrum by feeding him bites she pretended were from the Sesame Street friends.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
The Great Material I Get From My Kids
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2 comments:
Ha! Love hearing these conversations. My kids never last that long before deteriorating into pinching, scratching and kicking. So what I hear is more like this:
HIM: No
HER: Yes
HIM: You idiot
HER: AAAAHHHHHHHHH! He hit me!
HIM: WAAHHH! She hurt me.
ah, yes. here's a sample immediately following picking my boys up from their stay with their father, to be trapped in a car for next few days:
....
K: idiot
S: no you are
K: no you are
S: no you are!
Mom: Stop now - no name calling, no arguing, and if you wake up the baby, you'll have no tv for the rest of the summer, i swear!
(slight pause)
S: he started it
K: no you did
S: no you did....
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