My son loves pink, a rant

Warning: extended, only remotely related to Banned Books Week rant below. Please find a more indicative sample of our regularly scheduled light-hearted silliness here.

Dear World,

Yes, my son loves pink. He loves his glittery “do you believe in fairies?” shirt and his Hello Kitty water bottle and most of all his hot pink prairie skirt that twirls and that is, along with some boxer briefs, really the perfect summer play outfit.

Yes, I know he is wearing a skirt. And I know it is pink. No need to keep pointing that out, stating the facts as though you aren’t making a judgment in your head. Stop laughing; stop shaking your head. Stop congratulating yourself on your open-mindedness by saying, “That’s so great you let him wear it,” as though maybe I shouldn’t. In fact, please stop bringing it up in front of him at all because every time you do, you teach him that as much as he loves it, there’s something wrong or at least remarkable about that. And who wants to hear that it might not be okay to love something you love? Over and over, at the mall, on the street, at school, at your own family’s house?

While we’re at it, stop “reassuring” me that “it doesn’t mean anything.” What does that even mean?! Are you trying to say that his love for pink at age 3 doesn’t prove my son is gay? Thanks for the insight. Here’s a clue: the idea of him being gay doesn’t worry me. Here’s what worries me: it’s 2010 and my pink-loving son still has to defend his right to like a freaking COLOR. It’s 2010 and there are still people out there so incredibly homophobic that they CANNOT STAND the sight of a three-year-old boy in a SKIRT. It’s 2010 and my son wore his pink shirt to school the first day and there was MASS GENDER CONFUSION on the playground because some kids already, by age 3, are so gender-indoctrinated that they REFUSED TO BELIEVE he was a boy.

It is 2010 and every single time he wears his favorite color, my son’s feelings get hurt. Every single day, he gets told it’s not okay to be who is he is. I’m not worried about him liking pink or what it “means.” I’m worried that someday people are going to make him feel so bad about himself that he wants to jump off the GW bridge.

It’s 2010. It’s time to stop hurting people’s feelings with closed, terrified minds. It’s time to stop trying to prescribe other people’s lifestyles and families and reading material. It’s time to admit that reality is complicated and surprising and full of questions to which you don’t have answers. And it’s time to let my kids – and everyone's kids -- fully participate in that deliciously diverse reality without having to worry about the whispers.

It’s 2010, World. My son loves pink. Get over it.

Love,

Jacqui

P.S. Thanks for the chocolate donuts, though, World. Those things are awesome.

Tink, on Roald Dahl

This week, Tink is reading George's Marvelous Medicine. It, like many Roald Dahl books, has been challenged from time to time by concerned parents. So I sat Tink down for a Jacqui Reads her Children Books That Are SURE to RUIN Them FOREVER discussion.

ME: Tink?
TINK: (reads)
ME: Tink?
TINK: (reads)
ME: TINK?
TINK: (reads)
ME: TINK!
TINK: WHAT?!
ME: I notice you're reading George's Marvelous Medicine.
TINK: It's my Accelerated Reader book. (reads)
ME: Well, you know about Banned Books Week --
TINK: (deep sigh) And this is one of them.
ME: Well, sort of. What do you think?
TINK: (reads)
ME: Tink!
TINK: (blows bangs off face by spewing air with lower lip stuck out) Here's what I think: Yes, it's maybe not so appropriate in some places. But people! It's Roald Dahl. What did you expect? (returns to reading, turning back on me)
ME: (ponders several things, including how else to celebrate Banned Books Week)

Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Are SURE To RUIN Them FOREVER

It's Banned Books Week!

Two years ago, I celebrated with Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them. Last year I read them Even More Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them. We've read a ton of terrible, child-harming evil, and yet, miraculously, my children's moral fiber remains frustratingly intact. So THIS year, I decided to condense the exposure AND to hit them with the biggies. I present to you:

Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Are SURE to RUIN Them FOREVER

We started this weekend with these:

Heather Has Two Mommies
by Lesléa Newman, illus. Diana Souza



Daddy's Roommate
by Michael Willhoite

Nothing subtle there, eh? My kids were sure to be doomed.

We ran into trouble immediately. Destructo couldn't have cared less how many mommies Heather had. He was mainly worried that on the cover of her book, it looks like Heather is about to be EATEN BY A WOLF.*

Heather's story is very straightforward. Two is her favorite number; she has two hands, two eyes, and two mommies, both of whom she loves best. When Heather starts a playgroup, though, the kids talk about their daddies. Heather doesn't have a daddy and gets sad until the other kids in the class talk about how all their families are different and the teacher delivers a speech on love.

This is an important book, and a very lovey and reassuring book. It is not subtle though, and not particularly informative for modern kids with 21st century mindsets. BUT it becomes VERY interesting, terrifying even, if you think Heather's pet dog is a CHILD-EATING WOLF.

Punchy, but undeterred, we moved on to Daddy's Roommate. In the book, a little boy's parents are divorced and his dad has moved in with another man. The book is all about the fun the boy has with Daddy and his roommate.

First, check out that fantastic mustache! Thor had total facial hair envy.

Second, regardless of your politics, you have to respect an author who isn't afraid to speak his true thoughts on his book (and his whole lifestyle) being challenged.

But to the actual story. This book does not beat around the bush. It has illustrations of the men hugging in bed, it talks about their love for each other, it says they sleep together. As I read, I was thinking how red in the face Daddy's Roommate must make closed-minded book haters. But then Tink spoke up, on the page where they're at the beach.

"I know why some people think we shouldn't read this book," she said, pointing to the picture of Daddy's roommate in a Speedo-style bathing suit. "He's almost naked!"

Hmm. Later, she decided that what the book-banners didn't like must be the picture of the men wearing Red Sox hats. Because nobody should cheer for the Red Sox, I guess.

In the next episode: Underwear, the Sex Pistols, and Tink on Roald Dahl. Stay tuned.

* This is not to knock Ms. Souza; the illustrations within are cute. But you can see why he thought that.

All we can do

I had a plan. In honor of the last day of Banned Books Week, I thought, "I will read my kids THE MOST challenged book of the year!" But it turns out the most challenged book of the year is And Tango Makes Three, which Tink reviewed here last year and which we read at least twice a month in my house.*

Instead, I decided to try something different. I tried to see it from the point of view of the parents challenging these books. I thought, "What if it were something that stood diametrically opposed to something I believe? What if there were a well-written, adorable picture book that, say, supported the idea that the Holocaust is a myth?" Would I want it gone from my kids' library? Or what if Tink's librarian started making YAs available to second graders to take out and Tink let slip one day that she was reading Forever at DEAR time?

But for every example I invented, there was the same answer: I would talk to Tink about it. The fact is: we can't control the world; all we can do is prepare our children for it. We can't control other people's opinions, no matter how crazy we think they are. All we can do is raise children strong enough and smart enough to think for themselves. And honestly, we can't really control who our children turn out to be. All we can do is show them that we are there to discuss the confusing parts and to answer questions and to calm their fears, and to promise them that we will love them, no matter what life choices they make.

And as writers, all we can do is keep writing books that show kids that no matter who they are or where they come from, somewhere someone understands.

Happy Banned Books week, everyone.

P.S. For a much better, deeper post on this, read this librarian's response to a parent's concerns (thanks cath c, for the link).

* really people? Really? The absolute scariest, most inappropriate for children thing in print out there right now is a true story about two male penguins who raise an adorable baby? For real? Because I have read some books with my kids this year that were so insipid that I could look into my kids' ears while they read and see their brains rotting noticeably.

Ellen Hopkins, E. Lockhart ... And Me

I trolled Lee Wind's blog, I'm Here. I'm Queer. What the Hell Do I Read? long before I discovered what a great guy he is in person.  This summer at SCBWI-LA, I told him the story of the ridiculous challenge to the anti-bullying curriculum in which The New Girl...And Me was included and the ensuing hoo-hah over my book (if you missed this story, go read it here).

Well, now Lee has been kind enough to interview little old me along with the likes of Ellen Hopkins, E. Lockhart, Frank Portman, Jo Knowles, and Sarah Brannen, on the occasion of Banned Books Week.  You can read Part One of So Your Book Has Been Challenged here.

I'll be honest: I feel a little silly being there.  As I said in the interview, it's not like I wrote something brave.  It wasn't even my book that got people all in a kerfluffle.  I almost begged out of the interview.  But then I realized that the story about people not wanting kindergartners to read The New Girl...And Me is important precisely because it is so stupid and ignorant and completely and totally unrelated to the book.  Just as, I believe, the debate over whether or not schools should have Uncle Bobby's Wedding is more about the challengers' own discomfort than about what's "good" or "appropriate" for children.  We put ourselves in danger when we let other people tell us what to read, and what to think, and the way the information about my book got all twisted is a perfect example (again, really, if you didn't hear the story of how I apparently wrote a kindergarten manual for gay sex, click here).

So go and read, and check out the rest of Lee's blog while you're there.  And come back Friday for the exciting conclusion of the Jacqui Reads Her Children Even More Books Other People Think Are Bad For Them project.

Ducks who bake

In which I ponder the feminist implications of embracing your sissitude.

Welcome to this week's Jacqui Reads Her Children Even More Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them

For an explanation of my Banned Books Month project, click here.
For a far deeper and more eloquent post against book-banning, etc, read Laurie Halse Anderson's discussion here.

The Sissy Duckling
by Harvey Fierstein, illus. Henry Cole

Elmer the duckling likes to build things and paint and make believe. The other ducks tease him and call him "sissy" and beat the crap out of each other. Even Elmer's own dad can't take Elmer's sissy ways, so Elmer runs away to spare his family any more embarrassment. He sets himself up a nice little pad in a nearby tree. Elmer's mother and father leave with the rest of the flock to fly south for the winter, but hunters shoot his father down. Elmer rescues his father and they spend the winter bonding in Elmer's apartment. When the flock comes back, the family is reunited, Elmer's dad stands up for him, and Elmer declares himself sissy and proud.

This is a cute book. I love that Elmer doesn't have to change to be accepted. I love that he uses his own specific skills to survive the winter. And I love any book that shows how mean name-calling can be.

Now. This book was challenged on several occasions for being "gay themed." This fascinates me, because in order to see the book as having anything to do with anything gay, you have to buy hook, line and sinker the idea that men who like interior decorating are all gay and, of course, that all gay men are "sissies." I know people think like that. I'm just amazed that they're at home being so open about it. It's one thing to challenge a book about gay marriage because you believe it's a sin. It's another thing, in my mind, to challenge a book and to admit that the main character being at home with his own baking skills makes you unfathomably uncomfortable and don't you people know that liking to paint means you are gay gay gay! And, oh, good lord, our KIDS can't read this because what if OUR son should, GASP, take up baking! We all know what "good at baking" is a euphemism for, DON'T WE????

Of course, it is just this leap in logic on which Harvey Fierstein was banking when he wrote the book, I think. And I'm all for telling kids early on, before they ever start thinking about it, that they will be loved no matter who they love.

However, I do have one beef with The Sissy Duckling. At the end of the book, Elmer announces that he is a sissy and proud. This bugs me. Not because I don't want Elmer to feel good about himself, but because it reinforces the idea that a man who likes to do the things Elmer likes to do is a "sissy" in the first place. Which is an opinion that relies entirely on the idea that men and women should like to do different things AND that the things women purportedly like to do are weaker, less important, etc. I'd rather abolish the sissy concept all together. And "tomboy" too, while we're at it.

So, with all this in mind, we read it to our kids.

Yeah, they didn't notice any of that. They were way too caught up in the parents.

"They LEFT him?! Why did they LEAVE him?! They didn't even LOOK for him!!!"

"Hold it. The dad got SHOT?! Is he dying? Is he dead, Mama?"

"Does the mom come back? Is that her? Does he go live with them now? WHEN DOES HE SEE HIS MAMA?!?!?!"

And there you have it. To them, it was a horror story about a poor duck who nobody liked ("Those other ducks are BAD, Mama!"), whose dad yelled at him so bad that he ran away and his parents didn't even look for him before they flew south and abandoned him even though no duck has ever been known to survive a winter in the forest and then his dad gets shot by hunters and almost dies.

This is an important lesson, I think, in how hard it is, even for those of us who pride ourselves on it, to truly see things through a child's eyes, and also in the dangers of too much theory.

Meanwhile, Tink has been sneaking the light back on at night after I come downstairs so that she can see what happens to Harry, and honestly, I can't see giving her a hard time about it.

Jacqui Reads Her Children Even More Books Other People Think Are Bad For Them

Week 3: Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone

In which I outwit my daughter for once, in the name of my Banned Books Week project.


Tinkerbell was dying to read the Harry Potter books when she was five. I wouldn't let her; I wanted her to appreciate them in all their glory and I knew she'd be terrified. Then everyone else she knew started hearing parents read them and raving about them and Tink, who hates to be told what she should like, rebelled.

"I don't even want to read the stupid Harry Potter books," she announced. "I am never going to read them."

I breathed into a paper bag and held my tongue.

Then, last week, after the Five Chinese Brothers disappointment, I casually mentioned that some people didn't think the Harry Potter books were good for her.

"Really? Why?" she asked.

"No good reason," I teased.

"Why?"

"Eh, because there's magic. And stuff like goblins and flying broomsticks and I guess some people don't think people should read about a SCHOOL FOR WIZARD KIDS WHO CAN DO REAL MAGIC."

It worked. We started this week. We're taking turns reading aloud* and she is totally hooked. As any good book lover should be.

I did go back and have another conversation in which I explained carefully why some people are opposed to books about witchcraft, etc. Tinkerbell pondered it.

"No," she said. "I can believe in magic and still believe in God," she announced. "Now, keep reading."

* And let me tell you: it turns out I do a painfully bad fake British accent, so I have had to branch out to differentiate the book's, what, 3 million characters? Tink is going to be somewhat surprised when she sees the movie and Hagrid's "drawl" is not from West Virginia.

The Five Chinese Brothers

In which I attempt to incite my children to violence and they are underwhelmed.

Welcome back to Jacqui Reads Her Children Even More Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them (explanation here).

Somebody asked me if I would feel differently if the books that people wanted to ban or challenge were things I truly thought were inappropriate for kids. She implied that it's easy for me to make fun of not wanting kids to read books about two daddies when I have no problem with someone having two daddies. So this week I decided to read something with which I might have a real problem. And in honor of today, and the violence associated with it, I decided to read something violent.


In The Five Chinese Brothers (by Claire Huchet Bishop, illus. Kurt Wiese) five brothers who look exactly alike have five different superpowers, each of which luckily corresponds to the five ways their town tries to execute criminals. When the first brother drowns a little greedy boy, the law comes after them and the brothers take turns pretending to be the first one and using their powers to escape justice. This book has the added bonus of having been challenged as promoting racial stereotypes* (I think because all five brothers are supposed to look exactly alike and the pictures are highly stylized). So there was going to be, I thought, lots of juicy conversation, lots of teachable moments, lots of good dirt for the blog.

I read it to Captain Destructo in the library. I cringed. I mean, a kid is drowned and never heard from again. Then the rest of the book is the town trying to kill the brothers by beheading, death by fire, drowning, and suffocation. Here I am reading it aloud to my two year old. But I refused to budge. I didn't change a word. Tink read it to herself and then I sat them down to discuss it.

DESTRUCTO: (happy and charmed) They get to see their mommy in the end!
JACQUI: Yup.
DESTRUCTO and TINK:
JACQUI: Well?
DESTRUCTO and TINK:
JACQUI: Hello?
DESTRUCTO: Why you say "he-yo?"
JACQUI: What did you think?
TINK: Pbbltt.
JACQUI: You didn't like it?
TINK: Nah.
JACQUI: Because it was violent?
TINK: No, because it was boring.
DESTRUCTO: Yeah. It bo-ying.
TINK: Can we go have breakfast now?
JACQUI: But --
DESTRUCTO: Yet's go! (exit, pursued by sister)

And that, ladies and gentleman, is all I got. At least you know I'm not making this stuff up.

* It has been challenged both for the racial stereotypes and the violence.

Take That Book Haters, Redux

In which I once again read my children things that will ruin, ruin, RUIN their moral fiber. Oh, and I also teach kids how to be gay.

It's September!* That means it's almost Banned Books Week (September 26-October 3). Which means it's time for me to start forced calm breathing, because, well, because book banning makes me mad. As I wrote last year:**

... the topic of other people, particularly hateful, closed-minded people, telling me what it's okay for my children or me to read gets me so worked up that I can't post intelligently about it or I would end up in a big, bad-word-laden snabblefrug.

So instead of posting intelligently, I will once again spend the month exposing my children to all sorts of rubbish for your entertainment. Welcome to...

Jacqui Reads Her Children Even More Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them

It's simple. Every week until October 3, I will read my children a book that has been banned or challenged and report back. You can check out last year's array of evil here.

Week One: The New Girl...And Me, by me, Jacqui Robbins

No, sadly, I am not joking. Here's the story.

The Alameda (California) Unified School District created an elementary anti-violence curriculum that uses books to spark conversations. They chose The New Girl...And Me as their kindergarten book.

I love this idea, not just because it's my book, but because I believe in explicitly teaching social conflict resolution and I think stories are the best way to do it. This is, in fact, why I started writing in the first place. Go Alameda!

Now, later, after kindergarten, the curriculum includes such discussions as (gasp!) families that don't fit "traditional" molds. In older grades, students will read And Tango Makes Three (Justin Richardson & Peter Parnell, illus. Henry Cole), the true story of two male penguins who raised a baby penguin (reviewed here by Tink).

Oh, the furor that erupted! "School board imposes mandatory gay curriculum," the headlines blared.*** Fox News did a whole segment on Alameda's "gay curriculum." The bloggers started yapping -- and here is your daily lesson on the dangers of getting information off the internet -- the complaints got passed on and on in an infernal game of internet telephone misinformation and exaggeration, until one day my Google alerts alerted me:

Alameda kindergarteners to learn how to be gay ... through the use of such books as The New Girl...And Me, by Jacqui Robbins, in which a shy girl learns to make friends WITH ANOTHER GIRL.

Their emphasis, not mine. Apparently, my book is part of a "homosexual instruction program."

The kicker that you could have guessed? Nobody read the books. How do I know? Because if you have read The New Girl...And Me, you will know that nobody in her right mind could think it is a "kindergarten manual for gay sex," as one blogger warned parents.

As my agent put it, "Wait until they find out the next one's called Two of a Kind."

Sigh. It would be funny if it weren't for the fact that the Alameda Unified School District -- and every school district in the world -- has gay students and students with gay parents. In fact, I am sure some of the protesters have gay children, whether they know it or not. So a lot of feelings are being hurt, which is what it comes down to for me. The feelings behind this outrage are the same confused, angry feelings that cause the very kind of violence Alameda is trying to help kids avoid.

I honestly believe if I want my opinions respected I have to respect the right of some people to believe homosexuality is a sin, as hard as that is for me to do. But rather than hide others' ideas from my children, I want to talk about them, discuss them, use them as teaching opportunities. And I really, really want my children to grow up knowing that our lifestyle is not any more "right" than anyone else's; we are all just doing the best we can.

Which is why I believe so strongly in Banned Books Week: because I don't believe in silence (obviously, judging from the length of this post). I believe in words and stories and in their power to teach and to console and to bridge differences and to bring change. So this month, I will read my children books that other people think are bad for them.

Hey! Think how cool it would be if YOU read your kids (or, even better, someone else's kids) some books other people think are bad for them. Do it! Do it! And report back, okay?

* Yes, I am aware it has been September for 7 days. Did you miss the post where I claimed the right to change the date at will? Whose idea was it for school to start so late into the month?! And whom amongst you offered me last-week-of-summer-vacation child care so I could blog the arrival of September on time? Nobody. I am now claiming the right to be a week behind for a while.

** Credit for inspiring this Banned Books fiesta must go to my agency sister and RockSugarBeet buddy, the amazing Elise Murphy and her 2008 Banned Books Challenge.

*** I am not linking to any of these because I don't want to drive up traffic with my millions of readers. Google "jacqui robbins gay alameda."

Look under there!*

In which I discuss underwear.

You thought Banned Books Week was over, but no! We have one more thing to do, and that thing is (drum roll)

UNDERWEAR

Because what's not funny about underwear? Nothing, that's what.

This week, I read Tink Dav's Pilkey's masterpiece Captain Underpants, the king of all underwear books...

JACQUI: This is another one of those books people don't want you to read.
TINK: Why? (truly baffled, probably because there's no gay marriage in it)
JACQUI: Well, Tink, it's because this book talks about...underwear.
TINK: (giggle giggle giggle) No, really!
JACQUI: No, really, that's it.
TINK: Okay, that is dumb. Those people are dumb. I'll tell you what book they should not want me to read. They should not want me to read Tarantulas Have Long Legs.** We read that book in reading group and everybody is going to have nightmares. Those people do not want me to know about underpants?
JACQUI: I dunno, Tink. Shall we read?
TINK: Tra la la!

And what a great book it is. Hilarious. Definitely my fourth favorite book about underwear.

Do I have you curious? Have no fear! Right now, in honor of underwear, and as one final "take that!" to the book banners, I bring you Jacqui's Room's top three books involving UNDERWEAR (in no particular order)...

Underwear Do's and Don'ts (by Todd Parr)
"Do go shopping for underwear with a hippo. Don't let her try it on." Nuff said.



Underwear! (by Mary Elise Monsell, illus. Lynn Munsinger)
Bismark the Buffalo is grumpy. Nothing will cheer him up, except the one thing nobody can frown through: saying "underwear" ten times in a row. Try it. If you're six (at heart or for real), it's impossible to stay straight-faced. Plus, the animals in underwear illustrations are awesome.




Sad Underwear (by Judith Viorst, illus. Richard Hull)

"Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Someone with sad underwear.
Sad underwear? How can that be?
When my best friend's mad at me,
Everything is sad.
Even my underwear."

And other fabulousness from the most true-to-kids author out there.


And now, as an extra special underwear day bonus treat, here are four things that rhyme with underwear:
Wonderbear (orsine superhero)
Plunder/share (the age old unattended Halloween candy bag dilemma)
Funder care (kissing up to your donors)
Shunned her hair (what Rapunzel's prince did after she dumped him)

Did I miss any?


* Did you think it?! Did you think "Under where?" Please tell me you did.
** I looked. I can't find it anywhere.
By the way, the underwear above is an image from Bloomers 4U, where you can also buy "hip capri bloomers." I'm not sure "hip" and "bloomers" belong together...

Uncle Bobby's Wedding

It's still Friday, right? Welcome to the final installment of Elise's Banned Book Challenge, in which

Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them*

Week #6:
Uncle Bobby's Wedding
by Sarah Brannen

When Chloe's Uncle Bobby announces he's getting married, Chloe worries she'll be replaced in her favorite uncle's heart.

Thoughts: I love this book. It's a sweet story, with realistic kid emotions, adorable illustrations, and a palpable absence of schlock.

I asked Tink to review it.

TINK: OOOOOOHHHHH! Chloe is so CUTE! Mee mee mee mee! (Mee mee" being the noise impossibly cute guinea pig babies make, I guess.)
JACQUI: Can you guess why people don't want you to read this book?
TINK: Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever. Can we read it again?

In case you can't tell from the cover, the reason it's been challenged is that, by the way, Uncle Bobby is marrying another male guinea pig. The book's been cited as "about gay marriage," which fascinates me, because it's not. It's about jealousy and change and the very real kid fear of losing adults' love. The character just happens to be gay.

Which is really the best part. My favorite "issue" books are those where the issue isn't an issue. Sometimes I think we put ideas into kids' heads even as we're trying to teach them tolerance. It wasn't until I read Garth Williams' The Rabbits' Wedding (and talked about how dumb it was when people complained that one rabbit was white and the other was black) that Tink ever mentioned the different races of her friends' parents. The best books, for my part, are the "just happens to be" books, those which normalize what the author is trying to normalize by not making it an issue.

I was talking about this yesterday vis-a-vis children with disabilities. It's hard to find good books with disabled main characters where the book isn't all about the disability. Ditto adoption. And a variety of other topics.

So, I ask you: what are some of your favorite "just happens to" books?


* For explanation, see here.

The Stupids Read Banned Books

Welcome to this week's installment of Elise's Banned Book Challenge, in which

Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them


Week Five:
The Stupids Have a Ball
by Harry Allard, illus. by James Marshall

The Stupid family throws a costume ball to celebrate the fact that their children failed every subject on their report cards.

Thoughts: I decided it wasn't fair only to review books where I totally and completely disagree with the politics or opinions behind the challenge. So I picked this one because I have strong negative feelings about the word "stupid" and have talked to Tink many times about not using it. Also, it won a Parents' Choice Silver Honor Award, much like another book near and dear to me. In the end, the stupid thing didn't bother me, though I fear it did introduce the word into Tink's vocabulary. But the book wasn't that funny*, other than the dad dressing up as our country's first president George Washingmachine. I didn't even have a cute conversation with Tink about it. Check out The Stupids Die instead, which I think is hilarious.

And stay-tuned for next week when I return to bashing people who want to tell others whom to marry.

* Certainly not as funny as, say, hairy-nosed otters.

Take That, Rabbit-love Haters

Welcome to Week Four of Elise's Banned Book Challenge, in which

Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them

Week Four:
The Rabbits' Wedding, by Garth Williams

Two little rabbits play really cute games all day, including "Hop Skip and Jump Me" and "Race Around the Blackberry Bush," but the little black rabbit is sad. Why? He's afraid he won't always be with the little white rabbit, whom he loves more than anything. So they get stick dandelions in their ears, get married and live happily ever after.

My thoughts: Dang, this book is sweet. The games the rabbits play made me giggle. The illustrations are so phenomenally real and detailed that both Tink and I reached out to try to pet the rabbits several times and were genuinely surprised to hit paper. The reason it was challenged is so ludicrous I want you to guess in the comments. You have all the info you need in the summary above. You can hear Tink's idea below. What do you think?

I discussed it with Tink:
TINK: (in baby voice) This book is soooooo cuuuuuute.
JACQUI: I know. The pictures are by the same illustrator who did Charlotte's Web. I love the pictures.
TINK: Bunneeeeeeeeeez! (pretending to pet them)
JACQUI: So what did you like and not like?
TINK: I loved it all, except it was too sad when the black one was sad!
JACQUI: Well --
TINK: (straightens up) Wait. Is this one of those books some people don't think you should read me?
JACQUI: Yup.
TINK: Why do they think that?
JACQUI: What do you think?
TINK: Well, they should think it because the rabbits stick dandelions in their ears and they should be afraid dumb kids will stick dandelions in their ears if they read it.

Hear that kids? No dandelions in your ears.

Take That, Book-Haters, Week 3

It's time for Week 3 of Elise's Banned Book Challenge,* in which

Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them

King and King
by Linda De Haan, Stern Nijland

Forced into marriage by his mother the queen, the prince cannot find true love until he meets his own prince charming.

My review: I love the idea of this book. I like the fairy tale turned on its head. The queen has a fabulous, bossy voice (she tells the prince she'd already been married twice by his age). I like that nobody in the book comments on the fact that he falls in love with another prince; it just happens. I think this book should exist and should be in classrooms, despite the wrath of the book-haters (who hate lots of other things too) who worry that, as one site said, "it's clearly written to normalize homosexual romance and "marriage" in the minds of very young children" (wouldn't that be terrible?!). That said, the story didn't grab me personally. Maybe it's a lack of character motivation issue? We never see the prince yearning for love and there's not really any pressure for him to get married. Plus, the parade of princess-candidates is a little bizarre; I didn't always get the joke.

I discussed it with Tink:

TINK: That was weird.
JACQUI (preparing speech on accepting all kinds of families, etc.): What was weird?
TINK: The book.
JACQUI: How was it weird?
TINK: I don't know.
JACQUI: Was it because you were surprised he married another prince?
TINK: No! (as if I am being ridiculous) That part was like the princesses!
JACQUI: ???
TINK: Princess Amani and Princess Stefanie got married to each other.
JACQUI: Was that in a book?
TINK: Oh, Mom! (again, like I am being silly)
JACQUI: Who are Princess Amani and Stefanie?
TINK: You know!

But I don't know, and I want to! And Tink wouldn't tell me! Anyone have an idea???

* For explanation, read here

Take That Book Haters, Week 2

Look! I'm on time this week with my review for Elise's Banned Book Challenge. For explanation, read here.

On to
Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them

Week Two:
In the Night Kitchen
by Maurice Sendak

Mickey slides through the floor into the night kitchen, where he gets mistaken for milk, flies away in a plane made of dough, and dives into a milk jug to make sure we have cake in the morning.


My review: This book is weird. It's like Where The Wild Things Are in its dreaminess and fantastic imagination. However, it doesn't have the very familiar emotions that WWWTA has, so I found it a harder book with which to connect; where we know Max and see ourselves in him, we don't know much about Mickey except that he has really fun dreams.

I discussed it with Tink:

TINK: It's fine. I like it. It is funny. The thing I do not like is that at the beginning it looks like they (the bakers) are giants. But they are not, because that is a milk carton, and they are smaller than that. So I don't know what they are.
JACQUI: Tink, this is another one of those books some people think kids should not read.
TINK: Why?
JACQUI: Well, do you see this page?
TINK: Yeah. (has clearly not noticed boy is naked, or doesn't care) What about it?
JACQUI: Well, you can see his penis.
TINK: (giggle giggle) So?
JACQUI: So I guess those people don't think you should, um, I'm not sure. Maybe they don't want you to know what a penis looks like.
TINK: (overcome with giggles)
JACQUI: You know what some librarians did? They put a sticker right there, so kids couldn't see.
TINK: You are not supposed to put stickers in books.
JACQUI: No, you are not.
TINK: It's just a penis. (giggle so hard she snorts)
JACQUI: (to herself) Take that, book haters...

Note: I have since reread this book to Tink. I swear she never noticed Mickey was naked until I said something. Now, on every page, she points and says, "penis!" and cracks up. Sigh.

Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them

Elise Murphy started it. She vowed to read a banned or challenged book a week until October 4, in honor of the ALA's Banned Books Week. She invited her readers to join her Banned Book Challenge.*

You should know that the topic of other people, particularly hateful, closed-minded people, telling me what it's okay for my children or me to read gets me so worked up that I can't post intelligently about it or I would end up in a big, bad-word-laden snabblefrug. My heartrate is skyrocketing just mentioning it here. Breathe, Jacqui, breathe. You can play with your closed-minded voodoo dolls later.

I wanted in on the challenge. But I already have too many books on my To Read list. So, I decided I would choose from amongst the many horrible, permanent-emotional-injury-causing banned and challenged picture books. I promised Elise I'd read one to my children each week, and post about it on Friday.** Which gives us a new temporary weekly feature here in Jacqui's Room:

Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them

Week One:
And Tango Makes Three
by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell, illustrated by Henry Cole

The story of two male penguins at the Central Park Zoo who fell in love and raised baby Tango together. Based on a true story.


My review: I love this book. Borrowed it from the library and went out and bought it today. The story-telling is simple and straightforward, the illustrations adorable. The whole book rings with love and you can't help but get caught up in it.

I discussed it with Tinkerbell after we'd read it:

TINK: It was awesome.
JACQUI: What did you like about it?
TINK: Everything. I love everything. Can we read it again?
JACQUI: No, it's bedtime. Some other time. What did you not like about it?
TINK: Nothing.
JACQUI: Tink, there are some people who think kids shouldn't be allowed to read this book.
TINK: Why?
JACQUI: Well, remember when we talked about how there are some people who think men should only be allowed to fall in love with women, and women should never marry other women and all that?
TINK: (not at all making the connection) Yeah?
JACQUI: Well, those people worry because in this book a male penguin falls in love with another male penguin.
TINK: So?
JACQUI: So, those people worry that if you read this book you'll think it's okay for people who are the same to love each other.
TINK: So?
JACQUI: So they think then maybe you'll want to go out and marry another girl and be in love with her and they think that would be bad, bad, BAD.
TINK: That is dumb.
JACQUI: I think so.
TINK: Tango is so cute, Mama!
JACQUI: (to herself) Take that, book-haters...


*No, the challenge is not to see how many times I can use the words "banned books" in a tongue twisting paragraph. That part was accidental.
** Yes, I am well aware that Friday was yesterday. If only this were the only thing on which I am at least a day behind...