Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Are SURE To RUIN Them FOREVER

It's Banned Books Week!

Two years ago, I celebrated with Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them. Last year I read them Even More Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them. We've read a ton of terrible, child-harming evil, and yet, miraculously, my children's moral fiber remains frustratingly intact. So THIS year, I decided to condense the exposure AND to hit them with the biggies. I present to you:

Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Are SURE to RUIN Them FOREVER

We started this weekend with these:

Heather Has Two Mommies
by Lesléa Newman, illus. Diana Souza



Daddy's Roommate
by Michael Willhoite

Nothing subtle there, eh? My kids were sure to be doomed.

We ran into trouble immediately. Destructo couldn't have cared less how many mommies Heather had. He was mainly worried that on the cover of her book, it looks like Heather is about to be EATEN BY A WOLF.*

Heather's story is very straightforward. Two is her favorite number; she has two hands, two eyes, and two mommies, both of whom she loves best. When Heather starts a playgroup, though, the kids talk about their daddies. Heather doesn't have a daddy and gets sad until the other kids in the class talk about how all their families are different and the teacher delivers a speech on love.

This is an important book, and a very lovey and reassuring book. It is not subtle though, and not particularly informative for modern kids with 21st century mindsets. BUT it becomes VERY interesting, terrifying even, if you think Heather's pet dog is a CHILD-EATING WOLF.

Punchy, but undeterred, we moved on to Daddy's Roommate. In the book, a little boy's parents are divorced and his dad has moved in with another man. The book is all about the fun the boy has with Daddy and his roommate.

First, check out that fantastic mustache! Thor had total facial hair envy.

Second, regardless of your politics, you have to respect an author who isn't afraid to speak his true thoughts on his book (and his whole lifestyle) being challenged.

But to the actual story. This book does not beat around the bush. It has illustrations of the men hugging in bed, it talks about their love for each other, it says they sleep together. As I read, I was thinking how red in the face Daddy's Roommate must make closed-minded book haters. But then Tink spoke up, on the page where they're at the beach.

"I know why some people think we shouldn't read this book," she said, pointing to the picture of Daddy's roommate in a Speedo-style bathing suit. "He's almost naked!"

Hmm. Later, she decided that what the book-banners didn't like must be the picture of the men wearing Red Sox hats. Because nobody should cheer for the Red Sox, I guess.

In the next episode: Underwear, the Sex Pistols, and Tink on Roald Dahl. Stay tuned.

* This is not to knock Ms. Souza; the illustrations within are cute. But you can see why he thought that.

This week's library haul

It was a good library week. Destructo was in the "too sick to go to school - too well to stay home another day" mode, so we read a TON of books and only brought home the good ones.*


1. The Uglified Ducky (book and CD)
by Willy Claflin

You must listen to this book on the CD, told "in the original Moose" language by storyteller Willy Claflin. It is absolutely hilarious. You know the story: a baby moose wanders off and finds itself a cozy spot in the nest of a mother duck. When the mother duck finds her baby moose, she assumes he is an uglified ducky. Giggling ensues, with such adventures as flying lessons and a trip to Dr. Quack, duck therapist. Credit to Destructo's teachers and The Mighty Thor for finding this one. I will be purchasing this one, and possibly "Sleeping Beastly and Other Tales."


2. Bunny Party
by Rosemary Wells

My children ARE Max and Ruby. The first time we read one of these books, Tink couldn't stop laughing. Honestly, Destructo looks remarkably like Max, down to the pure white fur and gigantic head. And Tink can be, um, a bit Ruby-esque in her bossiness. So we love these books. In this one, Ruby is throwing a birthday party for their grandma, but she's only invited her own stuffed friends, not Max's Jellyball Shooting Spider, etc. Max, of course, finds a way to make space for the spider et al, and it is much fun. Also, there is good counting/math in here.


3. Yoko
by Rosemary Wells

Yoko brings her favorite sushi to lunch and the other kids tease her. When she cries to Mrs. Jenkins, Mrs. Jenkins tells her the other kids will forget about it soon. How is this supposed to make Yoko feel better? I don't know. Of course, they tease her again when she has red bean ice cream. So Mrs. Jenkins throws an "international lunch" where everyone brings something and everyone is supposed to "try everything." But nobody tries Yoko's sushi. Why? I don't know. Why doesn't Mrs. Jenkins MAKE them try it, after she stressed that everyone would need to try everything? I don't know. While Yoko's sad about it, Tommy comes along, still hungry, and tries a crab roll. Yoko teaches him to use chopsticks. Where is Mrs. Jenkins while one kid cries and the kid maws leftovers? I don't know. Tommy loves the crab roll, he and Yoko push their desks together and are BFF. Why do writers persist in writing about making friends like it's a piece of (rice) cake? I DON'T KNOW.

TeacherFAIL aside, this is a cute book that my kids enjoyed. It's a nice platform to talk about making fun of other people's lunches/traditions. AND, it had the added benefit of convincing Tink to try sushi, because it really does look delish in the illustrations.

* Sometimes, when we have less attention span, he just grabs, say, all the M books he can hold and throws them in the bag.

This Week's Library Haul

This week's library haul was huge in number, range, and impact. Here are some highlights.

So far, this Jacqui Reads Her Children & Herself Books By & About People Different From Her (explanation here) idea is one of the best I've had.


I'd Really Like to Eat a Child
by Sylviane Donnio, illus. Dorothee deMonfried

How can you not love a book with that title? And yes, it is about an alligator who wants to eat a kid. But he's too little, so when he tries, the tasty morsel he's chosen calls him cute and then tosses him in a lake. I wish I could find (and pirate) the interior art of that page, because it's hilarious. We had several good laughs with this one, which has the bonus of adding the phrase "I'd really like to eat a child" to your child-chasing-pretending-to-nibble game.

The next two books are more appropriate for elementary kids, not preschoolers.

Pitching in for Eubie
by Jerdine Nolen, illus. E.B. Lewis

Have you read Plantzilla? What about Harvey Potter's Balloon Farm? Did you know they were written by the same person and that in addition to hilarity, she writes lovely realistic picture books like this one?

Well, I didn't, and now I'm a little in awe of Jerdine Nolan. I picked this book up because we were so in love with E.B. Lewis's illustrations in My Best Friend (and his ten million other books). In it, a little sister tries to figure out what she can do to pitch in when the whole family works to pay for her older sister's college tuition. Tink liked it, and the artwork is as fabulous as anticipated. Also, it drove us back to Plantzilla, prompting the announcement "I like her funny books better." Which I can understand.


Henry's Freedom Box
by Ellen Levine, illus. Kadir Nelson

Tink is a little fascinated by the idea of the Underground Railroad. I think it appeals to kids her age, because the horrors of slavery are so overwhelming to envision that it helps them to focus on what somebody was doing to fight it. This is the great true story of a slave who mailed himself to freedom. It's a great example of one person's tale giving the larger historical story. There is pain and loss and terror in it, but delivered in a way that even my somewhat tender-hearted seven year old could handle it. And, it's Kadir Nelson; do I have to mention that the illustrations are fantastic?

Also, we took out ten (I swear I am not exaggerating) Rainbow Fairy Magic Books, which are about people different from me as I do not GASP every fifteen seconds and have an unnatural fascination with Jack Frost. We had to take out ten because it wasn't enough for Tink to be obsessed: Destructo had to decide he loves them too. "I do yuv fair-yeez, you know, Mama." I know, Destructo. "Why you hitting you-self on the head with dat book, Mama?"

This Week's Library Haul

Here is an unintended trend this week: authors writing books about things that clearly actually happened to those authors as adults.

The Bear Upstairs
by Shirley Mozelle, illus. Doug Cushman

The writer bear downstairs is upset when a VERY LOUD BEAR moves in upstairs and interrupts her quiet life of tea and typing. Fortunately, he owns her book and wins her over her with omelets.

Destructo didn't really understand the joke here that the downstairs bear is charmed by the upstairs bear being a fan, or that she's pleased he'll be gone at work all day starting the next week. Tink got it and kind of giggled. Mainly, though, the fun is in reading out loud -- VERY LOUD -- the noises the upstairs bear makes.


The Great Gracie Chase
by Cynthia Rylant, illus. Mark Teague

Gracie (like the upstairs bear) likes a quiet life. When the painters come and make a ton of noise and put her outside, she runs away. The whole town chases her. When they collapse, tuckered out, she goes home. At the end of the book, the author bio reveals that Cynthia Rylant has a dog named Gracie.

The illustrations of Gracie in this book are so darn cute that I had to like it. Also, I love how simply it explains the quintessential dog act of taking off running and then, seemingly with no reason, turning around and coming home. Gracie had to run, Rylant tells us. People were chasing her.

Parental bragging moment: Tinkerbell pointed out that most of the book is from Gracie's point of view (though it's written in 3rd person). However, the text twice says, "Silly little dog," which bothered Tink because "Gracie would never call herself silly." She's a GENIUS, I tell you. Seriously, I wish most adults who write for kids could understand that subtle difference.


And then there's the authors writing about things that clearly happen to real children, over and over and over...

Sheila Rae, the Brave
by Kevin Henkes

Sheila Rae is not afraid of anything, but her sister Louise is a scaredy-cat. Er, scaredy-mouse. Anyway, one day Sheila Rae gets lost and Louise gets to be the brave one and rescue her.

I love me some Kevin Henkes. This despite the fact that EVERY SINGLE one of his books breaks rule #8 of Jacqui's Cardinal Rules for Picture Books: "the kid must solve his own problem." Whenever I talk about #8 in a workshop, someone says, "But what about Kevin Henkes?!" Well, what about him? The man is a picture book making genius and if you can make books like Kevin Henkes you have my permission to break nine of my rules. The rule you may not break is #6, on not talking down to kids and not moralizing to them, because this is what makes Henkes so great: he ALWAYS writes from the kid's point of view and never trivializes their concerns.

In any case, my kids loved this book.


One For Me, One For You
by C.C. Cameron, illus. Grace Lin*

This is my favorite book of the week. Two animals have a playdate. They do okay sharing four cookies, but then there are only three trucks. Tears, pulling, and time-outs ensue.

This book is in rhyme, with maybe 10-15 words on a page. The text is sparse ("If I take three, it's fine with me, but..."), yet Destructo and I knew exactly what was going on. And what was going on is near and dear to the two/three year old soul.


Richard Scarry's the Great Pie Robbery and Other Mysteries

Destructo loves mysteries. This is entirely because Tinkerbell is making her way through all my old Nancy Drew books and all the Encyclopedia Browns in the library. So when we saw a Busytown book with mysteries, it was a must have.

The first time I picked up a Richard Scarry book with my own kids, I wanted to scoff. The mom is always in the kitchen, etc. But when I opened it, my heart went "Oh. Aw. I remember that." and filled with warm. The illustration details are hilarious. The stories are fun. And the mysteries in this one are just solvable enough to be interesting for preschoolers. We have read it seven million times.


Rainbow Fairies (assorted Pet Fairies and Weather Fairies)
No author listed, which should tell you something.

Tink had these recommended to her by a friend who hates to read but loves these books. I am all for her friend, who would not read otherwise, reading them. But Tink refusing to read the genius that is Karen Hesse's Sable because she is reading about Shannon the Ocean Fairy is like, like, well, I don't know what it's like, but it makes me want to BANG MY HEAD. Hard.

* links to websites for artist and author not working

This Week's Library Haul

We have taken ten million books out of the library since last installment. But all this linking and cover-finding takes time I do not have. Also, some of our haul includes I Spy: Spooky Things That No Kid Could Find* and the such. So here are my two favorites.


The Mine-o-saur
by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen, illus. David Clark

"It's mine!" screams the Mine-o-saur about everything, until none of the other dinosaurs will play with him. Now he's got all the toys, but (surprise) it's not much fun. So he returns the toys and wins back his friends. The book has some rhyming verse, some prose, which gives it a nice rhythm but keeps it from becoming sing-song.

At first, I thought, "Oh, this is cute." Then we read it. "Again," said Destructo. So we read it the next night. "Again," said Destructo. So we read it the next night. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. And I didn't get tired of it, which is saying A LOT.

Then, the other day, we were in the sand box, making spaghetti with rockballs in the dump truck as usual, when a little boy came over and screamed, "Mine!" He grabbed the dump truck/sauce pan. I expected fireworks. But Destructo just smiled and looked at me. "Dat the Mine-o-saur," he said. See that people? Books in life!

P.S. He still snatched the truck back from the other kid.



Wolves
by Emily Gravett

"Idolize" is not too strong a word for how I feel about Emily Gravett. You've heard about the snuggly fun that Monkey & Me has brought my house. And now I find this. Nobody else plays around with the picture book format like this.

A rabbit borrows a book about wolves from the library. As he reads, a wolf peels off the pages of the book. Tink giggled herself silly at the rabbit's oblivion, as he continues to read even while standing amidst the fleas on the wolf's back. At the end of the book, yes, the wolf eats him, leaving only a fur tuft on the page. The best part: Gravett adds an ending for more "sensitive" readers in which the wolf turns out to be vegetarian and shares a jam sandwich with the rabbit (and they are illustrated as taped back together, rescued from the carnage of the previous page).

It was a little scary for Destructo ("Mama, I don't YIKE wooves.") but Tink and I loved it. And every picture book writer should read it, if only to see the possibilities in the format.

* not the real title

This Week's Library Haul

In which Destructo shows why books are good for kids.

1. No, David!
by David Shannon
David's mother always said, "No, David!"
David never listens and he makes a mess, but in the end, his mama loves him anyway. I love this book and the picture of David running away down the street naked always makes us laugh.

Recommended for: every child everywhere except the kids of the sneering lady behind me in the grocery store the other day because HER kids obviously never, say, try to eat one another's hair while trapped in the cart.



2. Strega Nona Takes a Vacation
by Tomie dePaola
When Strega Nona tries to take a vacation, her assistants Bambolona and Big Anthony screw up and make a big mess, but Strega Nona comes back and loves them anyway.

We have had to read this book every night. It's a true sequel, and better if you've read the original Strega Nona, where Big Anthony fills the town with pasta. It's best, though, if you get to hear it in my fabulous variety of Italian accents.

If you like Tomie dePaola, check out the birthday treat Jarrett Krosoczka made him at Three Kisses for Tomie.


3. several Curious George books, all of which have the same plot: Curious George tries to be a good little monkey but is too curious and so makes a mess and gets in trouble but it all turns out okay and everyone still loves him anyway.

Are you sensing a trend? Let's switch it up.

4. Bear Feels Scared
by Karma Wilson, illus. Jane Chapman
I'll be honest: we didn't take this book out. We took out Bear's New Friend, which is pretty good. But we heard Bear Feels Scared at story time and it's awesome. Bear, who you'd think would be a big, tough guy used to scaring others turns out to be a bowl full of chicken when he's left alone in the woods. Luckily, his friends find him and bring him back to his safe cave.

Let me repeat: Bear is a big boy who you'd think would be, um, destructive, but he really feels scared a lot of the time.

Recommended for: anyone who gets scared.

And then, tonight at bed time, after reading these for the 100th time, after I checked his room for monsters and hung the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door so no bad guys can get in, Destructo snuggled up next to me and told me about when Tinkerbell knocked him off the slide today.

"It was a mistake," I said. "Everybody makes them."

"Yeah," he said. "But you yuv me anyway."