Saturday, October 4, 2008

Look under there!*

In which I discuss underwear.

You thought Banned Books Week was over, but no! We have one more thing to do, and that thing is (drum roll)


Because what's not funny about underwear? Nothing, that's what.

This week, I read Tink Dav's Pilkey's masterpiece Captain Underpants, the king of all underwear books...

JACQUI: This is another one of those books people don't want you to read.
TINK: Why? (truly baffled, probably because there's no gay marriage in it)
JACQUI: Well, Tink, it's because this book talks about...underwear.
TINK: (giggle giggle giggle) No, really!
JACQUI: No, really, that's it.
TINK: Okay, that is dumb. Those people are dumb. I'll tell you what book they should not want me to read. They should not want me to read Tarantulas Have Long Legs.** We read that book in reading group and everybody is going to have nightmares. Those people do not want me to know about underpants?
JACQUI: I dunno, Tink. Shall we read?
TINK: Tra la la!

And what a great book it is. Hilarious. Definitely my fourth favorite book about underwear.

Do I have you curious? Have no fear! Right now, in honor of underwear, and as one final "take that!" to the book banners, I bring you Jacqui's Room's top three books involving UNDERWEAR (in no particular order)...

Underwear Do's and Don'ts (by Todd Parr)
"Do go shopping for underwear with a hippo. Don't let her try it on." Nuff said.

Underwear! (by Mary Elise Monsell, illus. Lynn Munsinger)
Bismark the Buffalo is grumpy. Nothing will cheer him up, except the one thing nobody can frown through: saying "underwear" ten times in a row. Try it. If you're six (at heart or for real), it's impossible to stay straight-faced. Plus, the animals in underwear illustrations are awesome.

Sad Underwear (by Judith Viorst, illus. Richard Hull)

"Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Someone with sad underwear.
Sad underwear? How can that be?
When my best friend's mad at me,
Everything is sad.
Even my underwear."

And other fabulousness from the most true-to-kids author out there.

And now, as an extra special underwear day bonus treat, here are four things that rhyme with underwear:
Wonderbear (orsine superhero)
Plunder/share (the age old unattended Halloween candy bag dilemma)
Funder care (kissing up to your donors)
Shunned her hair (what Rapunzel's prince did after she dumped him)

Did I miss any?

* Did you think it?! Did you think "Under where?" Please tell me you did.
I looked. I can't find it anywhere.
By the way, the underwear above is an image from Bloomers 4U, where you can also buy "hip capri bloomers." I'm not sure "hip" and "bloomers" belong together...


Kelly Polark said...

Okay, we are a potty talk loving family so naturally we own all of the Captain Underpants own one of the picture book you showed.
Loved the innocent comments of a child:
Spider= Nightmares
Undies= Giggles

I have to agree!

J. Thorp said...

Blunderswear: When you do something inadvisable, then cap it off by accidentally using strong language (esp. in front of your parents) -- like when Billy drops the lug nuts in A Christmas Story.

J. Thorp said...

By the way: Now the Barenaked Ladies song "Pinch Me" is bouncing about my melon ...

Jacqui said...

Kelly, exactly! And your comment made me think of another rhyme: undermare, which is, of course, an underwear nightmare.

Thorp, me too!
I love blunderswear.

C.R. Evers said...

seriously? Captain Underpants is banned? Really? Underwwear is offensive? Sure. I could understand if it was illustrated with playboy bunnies wearing thongs, but Dave Pilkey Captain Underpants? I have to plead ignorance on this one.

and here I one of my all time favorites is Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopy Pants. You mean not everyone sees thsi as pure genius?


C.R. Evers said...

Crap! now you have me thinking about rhyming underwear.

how about:

Teddybare = a naked teddy. Captain Destructo should have one of those. ;0)

cookwear = for the naked cooker

nowear = ummmm that's just plain ol' naked or going "commando"

ok, gotta get away from naked before I get banned.

aware = as a singular noun

prepare = the clean ones you set out for the next day.

elsewhere = the tidy-whitey's that dont' belong to you.

foursquare - how much toilet paper you're supposed to use. ha ha ha! As if!

software = when you use Downey

hardware = midieval Knights undies

stonewear = prehistoric undies

repair - when you're out of clean ones and haven't done the wash.

knitwaear = what Grannie gives you at Christmas "thinking" it's a good idea.

glasswear = AKA a beverage cozy or "cup holder" otherwise, that's just weird. after all, glasses don't pee, they sweat. Maybe there should be a deoderant for glasses. whatever. it's just a thought. :0P

impair = elvish undies

I think I may have been posessed by Dave Pilkey and Jeff Foxworthy at the same time.

I should sleep now.

Tabitha said...

This is awesome! I've been toying with the idea of introducing Captain Underpants to my five year old, but haven't gotten around to it. But based on Tink's reaction, I think he'd love it. :)

Thanks for sharing Tink's reactions to all these books. It's been great reading them!

Jacqui said...

Christy, I cannot explain the silliness of the banners. But clearly you need to write an underwear book!

Tabitha, I think being in school makes a difference -- there are a lot of school references. But he'll probably find it hilarious either way.

Anonymous said...

I had no idea Captain Underpants was banned!! That cwazy. I have a 4th grader in the house and thats her favorite series!

Anonymous said...

Yours is the last thing I read so I can get a nightly giggle. And I giggled plenty.
I, too loved the Poopy Pants book. I have to sneak it under the covers now. All my kids have outgrown it. Not me!
Second childhood? Or still in first?
Keep it up.

Jacqui said...

Sharon, I'm glad Jacqui's Room's the last thing you read so you can giggle, and not because I put you right to sleep!

Nancy, yeah. Apparently it was banned for "insensitivity and being unsuited to age group, as well as encouraging children to disobey authority." Another ban said it "encouraged unruly behavior."

Sigh. What age group exactly IS it for, if not elementary kids?!

Candace Ryan said...

I'm going to check for tarantulas in my underwear from now on.

Jacqui said...

Candace, welcome! Tink would be proud to have sparked that feeling!

cath c said...

love this! btw, since i just discovered you via creative construction, i don't know if you've seen the book banned because of a minuuuuute pictorial reference to gay marriage: Max the Taxi Dog. i used to work in an educational toy store and would recommend it all the time even before there were 'issues' with it. but then especially so after afterward. great book about a great dog, and it's true,too!

Jacqui said...

cath c, thanks for the recommendation. I will check it out.