Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween: a User's Manual

Step 1. Eat lots of this:

Step 2. Read this:

Boris and Bella,
by Carolyn Crimi,
illustrated by Gris Grimly

Step 3. Find some six year-olds to be around. Nobody else celebrates Halloween with the gusto of first graders.

Step 4. Well after dark, after most kids are in bed, go outside. Turn your outside lights off and stand in silence. If you live in the city, go to your basement or your apartment building furnace room. Go somewhere scary. Shut your eyes and tell yourself there's nothing out there.

You're wrong. There's something out there. Can't you almost hear it?

Shiver. Shudder. Feel the fear. Then turn and run as fast as you can back to your bed and hide your eyes under the covers and giggle.

Isn't it delicious?

Happy Halloween


C.R. Evers said...

Happy Halloween!

Unfortunatley I have a horrible-frightening-hairy head cold that decided to use me as a costume for Halloween this year. Unfortunately I'm feeling like I want to skip all the steps and go straight to hiding my head under the covers.


Beware of the body-snatching colds! Their mean! Run! run for your lives!


sruble said...

Happy Halloween Jacqui! I might drag my husband to the Halloween parade tonight. There should be lots of costumes and celebrating there!

J. Thorp said...

Sure is, Jacqui -- It sure is!

Colorado Writer said...

Happy Halloween!

I think I caught Christy's cold.

Hope you get loads of candy tonight. I know I'll be stealing all the Snickers from my kid's sacks.

Jacqui said...

Christy and Steph, no! Please tell me it's not affecting your ability to taste Twizzlers!

sruble and Thorp, have fun!

The Bill Cochran said...

Do people really like Candy Corn? yeeeecchhhhhhlblach.

But otherwsie I sho do love Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

Anne Spollen said...

It's like a celebration of chocolate, kids, and the paranormal - it doesn't get better than that...

Diane T said...

Oooo, candy corn. I have to restrain myself from buying it, because I will consume it all quickly (although I do like to eat a piece of candy corn color by color: white, orange, yellow).

I love Halloween. This year I will dress up as a raillis, which is either a strange flower or my verification word.

Gottawrite Girl said...

Cool blog, and very nice to meet you!!! Happy Halooween, too...

J. Thorp said...

Diane: I thought I was the only one to consume candy corn that way ... do you agree that the brown-topped variety isn't nearly as good?

Belsings, all!*


* "belsings" is my current Blogger verification word and new Halloween salutation.

Elise Murphy said...

It is raining here. Huge, pouring, dripping, streaming, steaming, flowing, slurping, slushing, torrents of water.

And yet . . .we'll be out the door in a few hours.

Bring on the sugar-induced-coma!

And my verification word is rerbur - which makes me think of Reevers from Firefly, a thought even too horrible for Halloween!

Sharon Blankenship said...

Wait a minute, woman!!!! You have not lived until you've had a party with teenagers. Not only are they pretty scary all by themselves, but their costumes are my former wardrobe.
They have bottomless pits for stomachs and squeal like babies at the "Haunted House" stuff.
Six year olds are just warmups.
There IS something out there. You can even feel it other nights. . . like foggy ones. Or dark ones. Or windy ones. Oooooooooooooh.

Amber Lough said...

Oh, you're one of those candy corn lovers.

This is great: my word verification is, unbelievably, "hersch." Like Hershey's. Chocolate is the best candy.

Trick-or-treating with a two-year old is great because you can pick out whatever candy you want and eat it without him/her caring.

Jacqui said...

Bill, your yechblach just means MORE FOR ME!

Anne: word. And spiders.

Diane and Thorp, I eat it by the handful. Thorp, "belsings" is a fabulous seasonal greeting.

gottawritegirl, thanks and welcome!

Elise, despite my whining about fall, it was 60 and lovely here. Hope you weren't too wet.

Amber, it was Destructo's first trick-or-treating. He kept saying, "Go inside?" Then he ate a Hershey bar straight through the wrapper.

Jacqui said...

Sharon, good point. But they don't think they ARE bats and fly around yelling "Squeak squeak!"

J. Thorp said...

"hexinlevl," "reveleph" and "prest" -- consecutive Blogger verification words I've seen tonite! I think there are Halloween hijinks afoot ... I may have to blog about these mock words.