Friday, August 29, 2008

Dancing by the Light of the Moon

In which I butcher Edward Lear's lovely work.

Captain Destructo's note from day care this afternoon mentioned that he was "even more busy than usual" today. Tinkerbell, meanwhile, has had more sugar in the last two days than in her whole life so far, I think. The two of them giggled for ten minutes at dinner over something only they understood; I thought he'd be older than one before they had private jokes! In any case, insisting on a joint bath was probably my first mistake...

The Captain Destructo and Tinkerbell

Captain Destructo went to sea
In a beautiful bathtub boat,
He took some buckets, and plenty of duckies,
And a worn out purple goat.
Mom rubbed him down with a bar of Dove,
While he ate a plastic car,
“Oh Destructo! Destructo, my love,
What a beautiful baby you are,
You are,
You are,
What a beautiful baby you are!”

Baby said to the Mom, “More more wa-duh!
Want Sissy!” (he pointed at Tink)
So Mom called Sissy to come to the bath
“Leave the toothpaste in the sink!”
They played and played, till Destructo said,
“Duck duck duck go potty!”
Tink was first to decipher those words:
“Mom! Into the bath he peed,
He peed,
He peed!
Gross! Into the bath he peed!”

The Baby face planted in the water,
While Tink jumped out with howls.
One hand saved the son; one grabbed the daughter.
But which box holds the towels?!
“No, don’t drink that! Get off the cat!”
Mom shooed them from the room.
Baby banged his head. Now they’re on the bed,
Dancing naked by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
Dancing naked by the light of the moon.

In other news, I am already one day late for Elise's Banned Book Challenge. I promise to catch up tomorrow.


J. Thorp said...

Marvelous, Jacqui -- and so familiar!

Elise Murphy said...

Ha! I think I've been there . . . those dang babies are so slippery when they're covered with water, and Dove, and pee.

Poor Tink. Did she survive the injustice of it all?

Kristi Valiant said...

Oh my, I love it! I can't wait to have kids!

Jacqui said...

Kristi, want to rent some in the meantime? :)

Elise, after the initial shock, she thought the chaos was hilarious. I read her the poem and she loved it, though she wants a new pseudonym.

Thorp, I'm glad it's familiar. What do you do with four?! Car wash?

Stephanie J. Blake said...

Girl, you are killing me!

Marcia said...

Super funny!