Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I don't know what you heard...

... but I certainly didn't stay up until 1:30am to finish Eclipse all in one night and Breaking Dawn* the next. No sirree, not me. I was busy reading Faust. What kind of dunderhead would stay up all night to find out if Bella picks the vampire or the werewolf when she has a book to revise, children to raise, a ... blog ... to ... wri ... zzzzzzzzzzz.

I hate myself.

I was so tired that I didn't realize what Tinkerbell was doing during the following conversation until it was too late:

TINK (to new friend's dad): You are very tall like her.
DAD: Yes.
TINK: And you have black hair, with like, some silver in it.
DAD: (laughs indulgently)
TINK: And you have that thing, that bump.
DAD (and JACQUI): ????
TINK: You know, that thing. You have that bump like her.
DAD (laughing less): What bump?
TINK: There.
JACQUI: (looks, notices small raised mole on new friend's dad's nose; reacting in slow motion due to Twilight-related exhaustion, thinks: Does she mean that mole? Who is "her?")
TINK: So you look just like her!
DAD: Who?
JACQUI: (catching on)(slow mo) Tiiiiiink! Noooooooo!
TINK: The wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz! You look just like her!

Coming soon to Jacqui's Room: How to End Your Novel, The Least You Need to Know: Agents, and Faust: the Jacqui's Room production...

*the third and fourth books in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight quad-rilogy? four-logy? series
** Oh, and for any fans out there. The answer to your next question is "Jacob. Definitely." Sigh.


PJ Hoover said...

Jacob here, too!
I'm impressed you could stay up so late reading them! I can write that late, but reading is much harder.

J. Thorp said...

Ever see the "making of ..." Wizard of Oz mini-documentary hosted by Angela Lansbury? We discovered it at the end of our VHS copy of the movie. The actress who plays the Wicked Witch talks about the moment in which she got the call from her agent that she's been cast in the movie. She asked, "What part?" He said, "The Wicked Witch -- who else?"


Diane T said...

A) the word is "tetralogy." Although I don't know if I'd apply such a fancy literary term to a romantic vampire series.

B) Tink has nothing on Boy. When he was four he called Darth Vader "the Black Man." We were driving down South and happened to stop at a gas station, and the man in front of us was dressed in black shirt, black pants, black boots, and (can you guess it?) black skin. So Boy points to him and loudly says, "Mommy, is that the Black Man?"

I can tell this story here because he won't read it. If I put it on my blog, he would kill me. But then, I figure he's earned all the embarrassment I now give him.

Jacqui said...

Diane, wait until he reads your latest book!

PJ, did you read Breaking Dawn?

Thorp, that's great. Maybe I can convince Tink to watch it instead of the 10,000th viewing of the actual movie...

J. Thorp said...

Loosely related to Diane T's comment:

My parents are over for dinner. Brendan is 2 or so. He has seen Darth Vader on the packaging for my Star Wars video tapes. He could tell Vader was bad right off the bat.

So halfway through dinner, he says, "Mommy, when can I watch you and Daddy's bad movies?"

Elise Murphy said...

Oh, my, that's a lot of vampires and werewolves in one night! I'm, um, not really for Jacob or Edward. They both seem a little pushy to me. I think Bella would be better off with Alice, frankly.

One of my favorite kidisms was when my eldest was about three, instead of saying, "you're hurting my feelings," she'd yell, "you're hurting me." Typically in parking lots or small stores.

Just recently my six year old asked her uncle why he had hair growing out of his ears and nose. But the truth is . . . I'm curious, too. They've got clippers for that, ya know?

Jacqui said...

Elise, you are right. But not Alice. I'm pretty opposed to any high school relationship that requires giving up the rest of your life to consummate. Did you read all four? Would love to discuss.

cindy said...

i only read twilight. but meyer must be doing something right! so envious!

i hope the new friend's dad is still a new friend? haha!

Jacqui said...

Cindy, he was very indulgent!

Rena Jones said...

I hope you at least took a nap today! ;)

Jacqui said...

Welcome, Rena! No such luck for me on the nap -- revising revising revising...

Amber Lough said...

Am I the only one who hasn't read any Stephanie Meyer books? I think I'm afraid to delve into them b/c I don't have enough time to read them all at once, as I know I'd want to do if I started.

Your kid is a hoot. Can't wait to see what mine will do.

Mary Witzl said...

This is priceless!

I feel so smug: I haven't read any of Stephanie Meyer's books either. On the other hand, I'm supposed to be packing for our move and I'm wasting precious time visiting blogs and writing nonsense in my journal. Time enough for withdrawal when I'm torn away from my computer. And what better blog to be visiting than one of a woman who has stayed up all night reading Breaking Dawn?

Diane's comment made me laugh. I knew of an African-American family in Tokyo whose kid referred to Midori Ito as 'the black woman' when they were watching the skaters in the winter Olympics. They figured he'd finally cracked the color thing when they realized he wasn't referring to the French-of-African- descent skater, but Ito, who was wearing a black costume.

My little sister once called a lady at our church 'you wicked old witch' -- she was a dead ringer for Snow White's evil stepmother. Mercifully, the poor woman was completely deaf.

Jacqui said...

Amber, he/she (do you know?) will embarrass you. I once heard someone (maybe Reese Witherspoon???) say, "If your kids don't humiliate you at least once a day, you're not spending enough time with them."

Mary, you can't fool me. I've been to your blog; I know ho much you have going on!