Thursday, August 21, 2008

Buon appetito! But hold the turtle soup.

Welcome to this week's Thursday News of the Absurd Will Someone Please Write This Book Inspirational Moment (TNoftheAWSPWTBIM). The actual news story is sort of sad, but bear with me.

From Reuters:

"About 60 newly hatched sea turtles lost their way during their ritual passage to the sea and marched into an Italian restaurant instead, a conservation worker said on Monday."

According to the article, the turtles were "probably thrown off track and lured by the eatery's bright lights." They were later caught and released into the sea. Kind of a sad story; where I grew up in Florida, there are restrictions on outside lights during turtle-hatching season and one hopes the restaurant will be careful now.

BUT, what if they weren't confused? What if they were just tired of seafood?

I am picturing hundreds of sea turtles at café tables with red and white checkered tablecloths demanding more pasta, harried waiters rushing with trays overflowing with food, the gray-haired piano man flanked by music-loving turtles singing along. I want rollicking rhyme* and lots of ocean puns. And at the end, I want turtles headed to the sea with take-out boxes, leaving behind waitstaff baffled by seashell tips.

Will someone please write me this book?

* But the meter must be absolutely perfect; bad meter and imprecise rhyme are my number one picture book pet peeves.


J. Thorp said...

Amen on that footnote, J ...

Kristi Valiant said...

Oh, what a fun picture book that would make! I don't write in rhyme or I would write it Jacqui!

When I read your title I laughed, because I've actually had turtle soup when I spent a summer in China. It was souper yummy - I was quite surprised. They served me the turtle shell which is supposed to be for the guest of honor. Now I wasn't brave enough to scrape the skin off the shell and eat it, so I bestowed it upon the fearless leader of our volunteer group, and he ate it with grace.

PJ Hoover said...

This is hilarious! I had no idea. And into a restaurant!

Anonymous said...

The Eeyore poem was my favorite. You may not have noticed, I have an "extensive" (4 or 5) collection of "Eeyore" watches.
Where do you read this stuff? I love it.

Jacqui said...

Kristi, will you illustrate it?

Wow, the turtle shell would have been hard for me. I am pretty adventurous as an eater (ate bugs once - will have to blog about that some day), but "scrape the skin?" Hmm.

Sharon, I have not noticed your watches! Show me next meeting!

PJ, can't you just picture the restaurant patrons in the real story?

cindy said...

i want to put a tortoise in my book! but i'm not sure i know how to paint one. =X you crack me up, jacqui!!