I am back. Woo-hoo! Hearts to Steve from At&T, who braved the spider-filled crawl space under my house to retrieve internet cable.
Today’s Thursday News of the Absurd Will Someone Please Write This Book Inspirational Moment (TNoftheAWSPWTBIM) is based not on news, but on something I overheard. As I write my young adult novel, I’ve been eavesdropping on the teens who congregate outside my favorite coffee shop so that I can pillage their lives for my stories develop an ear for teen patois. Earlier this week, I heard two boys, about 14 years old, have this conversation:
Boy #1: Guy, she really said that?
Boy #2: Shut up.
Boy #1: Seriously, I can’t believe she said that.
Boy #2: I said ‘Shut up!’
Boy #1: What’d you say?
Boy #2: I said, 'At least I’m not mumble mumble.' (The problem with eavesdropping is you miss the dirty parts. Suffice it to say, whatever #2 said, it was hilarious; they both cracked up.)
Boy #1: She’s gonna kill you.
Boy #2: Nah, I’ll sic my grandmother on her.
Boy #1: (now serious) Yeah. How many people she killed now?
Boy #2: They think six.
Boy #1: They caught her yet?
Boy #2: Nah.
WHAT?! No, really. WHAT?!
Oh, wow. A fourteen year-old boy, with no luck in love, and a grandmother on a multi-state killing spree. Will somebody PLEASE write me this book? No, forget it. This one, I want to write. Forget I said anything. Go back to your own writing. Nothing to see here…
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I'll Sic My Grandmother On Her
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9 comments:
hahaha! you crack me up, jacqui!
Good incorporation of the word "patois", which is, IMHO, sadly underused in everyday speech :).
Thanks, Cindy.
Alison, I totally agree. Also "dashing" and "penultimate."
Oh, I love eavesdropping! My kids have the most bizarre conversations.
So glad you're back online!
I'm thrilled to meet another eavesdropper. This is absolutely my number one hobby, and as I almost always have a house full of teeagers to poach from, the pickings are GOOD around here.
But I don't remember eavesdropping on anyone's conversation in which a homicidal granny was involved, so I'm pretty impressed.
Mary, I'm so glad someone else thinks it's totally bizarre!
This is, officially, a "holy crap" moment in which one spits his or her coffee and looks all around for a little old lady with eyes like Eastwood.
Thorp, exactly!
I think in my book, the grandma has to ask someone if he "feels lucky."
Woah! That is hilarious and absolutely alarming at the same time.
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