Welcome to this week's Thursday News of the Absurd Will Someone Please Write This Book Inspirational Moment (TNoftheAWSPWTBIM). Despite appearances, I am not obsessed with hooved animals in police custody. By the way, you can always find past Inspirational Moments to the left (scroll down), under "Explore Jacqui's Room."
From USA Today and the AP:
Police Nab Mercedes-Climbing Goat
"It happened Sunday when a woman driving the Mercedes saw a goat and dog playing on U.S. 72 in northern Alabama, Sheriff Mike Blakely said.
She stopped, afraid they would get hit, Blakely said. But the goat jumped on the car and wouldn't come down. Fearing scratches and dents in her import's paint job, she called the Limestone County Sheriff's Department. A deputy got the goat down and put it in his patrol car, but then the dog jumped into his back seat too."
Three things you gotta love about this:
1. Classic example of the importance of the hyphen. Otherwise, the headline would read, "Police Nab Mercedes Climbing Goat," which is an all together different story about police catching a German car as it drove up a goat.
2. The dog refuses to be separated from the goat. Did he leap into the back seat of the squad car desperately sobbing and woofing, "Take me with you!" or was he making a last ditch effort to save his friend?
3. The rhyming picture book possibilities. I want a cumulative rhyme, along the lines of The House That Jack Built and The Napping House. I want the goat (and in my book the dog is with him up there, because I am the author and I can manipulate reality) placidly sunning himself atop the luxury car, maybe in the clear lines and bright colors of Rob Scotton's Russell the Sheep. Each successive page features someone new trying to talk the animals down. Meanwhile, in the background, traffic mounts and the illustrations build vignettes of motorists getting into fights, sharing snacks, and playing frisbee across the parked cars. Right before the end, there's a wordless page where the goat and dog yawn and then nod at each other. The goat steps down and allows himself to be led to the police car, the dog hops in, and on the back inside cover, we see them speeding away down the highway, chaos in their wake, and the dog says to the driver, um, um, something clever. "Can we stop for pizza?" "Petco, please, and make it snappy?" Neither of those is clever enough. Help, clever readers. What does the dog say?
Will someone please write this book?