Welcome to this week's Thursday News of the Absurd Will Someone Please Write This Book Inspirational Moment (TNoftheAWSPWTBIM).
From the AP and Newsvine:
"Tortoise returned after 2 1/2 weeks on the lam"
Apparently Tank, an 8-year-old, 60-pound African spur thigh tortoise, escaped from his family's garage and was missing for 2 1/2 weeks before he was found and returned.
Okay, I see two ways this can go. There's the book TANK ON THE LAM, all about Tank's adventures. It could be lovely, but it's just not inspiring me today. Plus, we already did it with the lighthouse.
What I really want to know is this: why are they keeping him in the garage? Is Tank the family vehicle?! I know gas prices are high and I, too, would like to avoid a minivan for dragging my kids around, but a tortoise?!
Will someone please write the story of parents who, angered by rising gas costs and allergic to horses, decide to carpool their children to school atop a 60-pound African spur thigh tortoise?
I am thinking David McPhail illustrations, like those in PIGS APLENTY, PIGS GALORE, mostly because I love the man in P.A.P.G.'s frustrated calm in the face of the pigs' chaos. I want the kids and their lunchboxes and backpacks and sports equipment and the parents and their briefcases, and maybe the family dog, all piled on top of poor Tank. But I want the language minimal and wry, kind of like in Delphine Perret's THE BIG BAD WOLF AND ME.
Will someone please write this book?
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tortoise on the Lam
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7 comments:
LOL! A great and timely idea.
Christy
I see a daft family who has mistaken the tortoise for their green Volkswagen, and a tortoise who is too nice to correct their mistake and tries to get them where they need to go. When they are constantly late and he's too exhausted to care, things come to a head. Sort of a Yertle-meets-Thidwick situation ...
I can just see one of your beaver/badger police pulling the tortoise over for going too slowly and causing a traffic jam...
Ooh, Thorp, I like it. But I think maybe he's daft too, and doesn't realize he's different from the other cars. Maybe he's depressed he's so slow.
Yertle the Turtle is one of my favorites; have you heard the Red Hot Chili Peppers version?
Diane, can't you just picture the beaver's light flashing and the resigned face on the tortoise?
I love Tank on the Lam. I'm seeing... graphic novel. I'm seeing... the yakuza and Tank, shell to shell.
I did write a book about a lighthouse journey, but nobody bought it. Wahh. They're all "lighthouses aren't interesting MCs" and I'm all "says you!"
This is wonderful, and your comments are great too. And to think I was embarrassed by my parents' automobile choices.
When I was a little girl, we actually did have tortoises -- nine of them, in fact, and a couple were big enough for a 6-year-old to sit on. I'd buy Tank on the Lam any day.
Susan, love the graphic novel idea. Urban setting: I see aerial views of poor Tank wandering city streets, buildings towering over him...
Mary, I'd have traded the station wagon my parents drove for a tortoise in a minute. Def an upgrade in speed...
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