Were you worried that just because I've finally gone off the deep end it's December I would leave you inspiration-less? Have no fear, this week's Thursday News of the Absurd Will Someone Please Write This Book Inspirational Moment (TNoftheAWSPWTBIM) is here!
From ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) News:
Colossal Squid Stops Traffic in Wellington
A giant squid has brought traffic to a standstill in the New Zealand capital of Wellington.
The 500-kilogram sea creature, which developed a world-wide following when it was defrosted over the internet,* has been moved to the country's national museum, Te Papa.
The headline is a bit of a rip-off. In reality, the squid didn't stop traffic; the police escort surrounding it did.
But in the book you are going to write me, it was the squid. Arthur. And he is not in a vehicle. He is just trying to get his holiday shopping done. Someone call David Wiesner and ask him to draw me a 200+ pound squid in an enormous sparkly red sweater with snowflakes and reindeer whose noses actually light up on it. I want shopping bags on his tentacles, and a Starbucks cup in one of them. Arthur, is oblivious to the stunned chaos he leaves in his wake. Ooh! Wait! It's the 12 Days of Christmas! As in, "On the first day of Christmas, my pet squid gave to me a Jane Fonda DVD" (with accompanying squid in exercise wear pictures...).
Who will write me the other verses???
* How do you defrost something over the internet?! I have gotten pretty "frosted" at AT&T this year, but never thawed.
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8 comments:
Would it be crass to suggest that my pet squid might give me a Japanese sushi set? I mean he likes fish too, right? And besides, I want to see those eight tentacles each holding a set of chopsticks and trying to pick up some tuna sashimi.
"On the second day of Christmas, my pet squid gave to me 2 sushi rolls and a Jane Fonda DVD."
What is it about pet squids giving cheesy fitness gifts for Christmas?
Last year, mine gave me a Richard Simmons head band (with Richard Simmons dressed as Santa doing squats and lunges). He still wonders why I don't wear it.
I don't have a verse to contribute just now -- but I got the biggest charge out of the idea of a celebrity squid who's claim to fame is thawing on the Internet. First his giant eye looking about, the only thing that can move; once he's thawed enough to speak, he conducts a streaming audio interview, "Yeah, I mean, sure my tentacles are cold -- they're frozen, right? But what really gets me is the air is so *dry* here. I mean, how do you people stand it? ..."
"...on the first day of Christmas, my pet squid gave to me an interview on NBC..."
Wow! This totally gives me a vivid mental image! LOL!
If only I could do illustrations!
This made me think of that old movie The Blob...
The Squid vs The Blob...hmmm...either way I think I would find another way to work...grin...
I know, Christy. I was thinking the same thing.
Brenda, exactly! And you must write The Squid vs. The Blob, I think.
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